Categories
Awards!

The Mystery Blogger Award!

I never thought I’d be writing this post, because as of a few weeks ago, I hadn’t heard of the Mystery Blogger Award, and I didn’t actually find out what it was until I was nominated. So firstly I want to thank Ronald for nominating me. I feel so honoured that you think so highly of my blog, it really does mean a lot. You are a great support, and all my readers should totally go and check out his blog by clicking here!

The Mystery Blogger Award was created by Okoto Enigma, in honour of getting recognition to bloggers that work hard and provide posts that are worth reading but aren’t for many reasons, discovered. It’s for bloggers that inspire and encourage people all around the world. And I think it’s incredible! As a blogger, we spend a lot of our time writing things that we are passionate about, and I know that those I am going to mention are amazing at this as well.

As with any worthy award, there are rules and they are as follows.

  • Put the award logo/image on your blog.
  • List the rules.
  • Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
  • Mention the creator of the award and provide a link as well
  • Tell your readers 3 things about yourself
  • You have to nominate 10 – 20 people
  • Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog
  • Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice; with one weird or funny question (specify)
  • Share a link to your best post(s)

I guess I should probably tell you three things about me so;

– I am actually a big WWE fan, and I love and watch as much as I can. I mean on PPV nights, I watch as much as I can before I fall asleep and I’m generally tweeting about it.  – Luna downloaded some albums onto my phone via Apple Music, because she wanted Rey Mysterio’s entrance… My phone is on shuffle and it decided to play the Bella’s entrance music just as I wrote that and not going to lie, I sat gigglying to myself. –

– I am a massive reader and will always make a point of reading the books and watching the films because I think the writer and directors of both have different views and ideas, and I like to compare them… Yes, I am a nerd.

– I once was on a sailing boat and did things that you see pirates do in movies… It was one of the scariest three days of my life! We were out to sea during a thunderstorm and I was petrified. I can’t swim and I hate thunderstorms. It was also extremely hard work, I came back and was sore for days, but it was amazing and if you can ever have the chance to sail a proper boat, I recommend it.

5 Questions Answered;

1: What are the five things you cannot live without? Why does it have to be things Ronald? Because for one, I cannot live without my daughter! But oooookay. I will do material things. My notepad, because I am forever writing things down. My ipod, it has way too many songs because I only ever add to it. So I have music from my childhood on it and it’s nice to have those memories. My laptop and Phone because I have friends that I don’t get to see and I always love talking to them! And my Finn Balor Leather Jacket! I love my jacket even if it is a guys jacket and bigger than me! It was brought for me by mum for Christmas and as long as it’s not too hot outside, I will be wearing it!

2: According to you, what is a perfect day? I’m a mum so it would always be any day that has my daughters laugh and smile because there is no perfect moment. She has an ear infection so she’s really clingy at the moment and isn’t her happy bubbly self which really sucks.

3: Which celebrity you would love to meet? And why? Okay, so this stumped me. I don’t know if they are considered a celebrity but they are also dead. So, it’s more a person of history than one of a current celebrity. I would want to meet J.M Barrie. He is the author of The Complete Adventures of Peter Pan, and theres more to the story than Wendy. I love the stories and have read the collection. They are some of my most favourite pieces of work and I want to know what inspired him to write it. Before he died, he gave the rights to Peter Pan stories to Great Ormond Street Hospital and personally, that is someone I would like to meet.

4: Who or what inspired you to take up blogging? I don’t think anyone inspired me to start blogging. I think it was more, I had a lot of things going on and I just wanted a place where I could write how I felt and nobody could tell me what I could or couldn’t say because it was my space. I come from a big family and often felt like I was ignored because my brothers needs would and should have always came first.

5: Describe an incident involving you that you’re not proud of. Any incident involving my partners mother. She’s not the easiest of people to talk to and it’s even harder considering she doesn’t give a shit about her only granddaughter, she can only ever seem to think of herself. However, I always seem to let her get under my skin and end up saying things out of anger because of how my brain reacts. BPD is really tricky to try and keep level headed when emotion is involved. But I am slowly getting better. I mean I’m talking about it more rather than losing my shit straight away.

I’m supposed to pick my best posts, but I can’t because everyone will always have a different opinion to me, so I thought I’d list the ones that meant the most to write. As I only shared a really emotional post last night, I wont include that one. But here are some of my others.

I wanted to pick some of the great bloggers that offer me such support and love every time! They help me during writers block and provide great content. I am so proud of all their hard work and this is my way of encouraging them not to give up.

  • Amy Jane; she provides a travel/food blog which at times gives me serious envy. But I am so fortunate enough to live vicariously through her! Check out her blog;
  • Lozza; she is an incredible person and I am so fortunate to follow her and receive her support. Honestly, check out her blog! Its amazing.
  • ThoughtsWithN; Her lifestyle blog is really creative and covers wellbeing as well as parenting. Go check out her blog!
  • Edley; He is a great guy who is blogging about his personal battle with M.S as well as sharing other peoples stories and giving them a platform to speak. Check out his blog, here.
  • BeardedIgor; Again, another great guy whos blog is very interesting to read. He talks about his journey to happiness despite mental health complications. Check him out, here!
  • My Simple Mind; She has an awesome mental health blog and in general is a great loving person. Go and check out her blog.
  • Shannon; She blogs about her life and not only that, but there’s poetry! She’s an amazing person and well worth a check!
  • Breanna; She’s only posted one post, because she got a full time job and is still trying to work out a schedule but here’s for when she comes back.
  • AstralOutfitter; if you’re a foodie, this blog is for you! There are a few recipies that sound tasty and a must read for any experimentalists out there. Check out their blog, here.
  • LucyMayyyReads; if you’re a big reader… this is the blog for you! From classics you haven’t read, to ones you can’t put down. Check her out now!
5 Questions Asked
  • What is your favourite song of all time?
  • What makes you smile most when you’re upset?
  • Have you ever played a prank on someone? If so, I want details.
  • Where do you see yourself in five years?
  • Dr Pepper or Coca-Cola?

Thank you again Ron, for nominating me, it means a lot! And to all my readers, thank you for taking the time to read through a post that is very much about showing support to multiple bloggers that aren’t as mainstream as they should be. I hope you all have a good day, and as always, keep smiling. Ferrari.

Categories
Fears face on!

I tried stand up…

I have a lot of bad habits that I’m trying to kick in my life and one of them, is living life in fear. I let fear control a lot of what I say and do which is no way to live and I never want Luna to live her life behind fear. I want her to reach for the moon and land among the stars. I want her to never give up on something that she really wants, no matter how out there it may be. I figured it would be time to start facing those fears, even if it means landing flat on my arse.

I love to make people laugh and try to cheer everyone up as best I can, because I hate it when people aren’t okay. I have a lot of love for stand-up comedians and even more so now that I have gotten up on stage and seen it through their eyes. I have a lot more respect for what they do and let me tell you now, it is tough!

So, for the last few months, I’ve been saying that I wanted to do a comedy night because I am hilarious –in the words of others anyway-. And figured why not. I mean what did I really have to lose. Nothing. That’s what. Me and one of my mates were discussing about when would it be best to do the stand up, and well I wanted to wait until after I had my teeth sorted because I was extremely self-conscious of smile and talking was a different story. I couldn’t exactly get up on stage and cover my mouth the entire time… that would have looked ridiculous. And after getting used to wearing a denture and by the time I was no longer on any medication for the swelling I thought what the hell.

On the 6th of August, I was sat at home at about 12pm, and started to look around for places that would do amateur stand-up. I know my brain, if I sit and wonder about it for too long, I will find way too many ways to talk myself out of it. So, it had to be soon. I found one called the ‘Comedy Car Crash’ which I thought was perfect given the fact I was named after a car. I wanted to be covered for if it was a complete wreck. They had one that night at half 7… I thought it was perfect and messaged one of my friends to ask what his plans were for that night and when he said he didn’t have any, I was like great!

Well, that night I made my way to London, first stopping off at my mate’s house to drop my stuff off and to get ready and then onto The Lion’s Den in Bar Rumba off Piccadilly Circus. I signed up and was told that all 14 places were filled, so I’d go in the Wishlist hat which meant the chance of performing became smaller. I figured that I could have one drink to calm the nerves that had started building. I wasn’t nervous until I got there and started to realise there was a chance, I’d be talking to a room full of strangers and trying to make them laugh. I don’t honestly it set in until I got there and because of it, I was deluding myself.

One drink turned into two before the show had even started. I was a nervous wreck. What was I doing? I hadn’t prepared anything. I was just going to wing it. I saw all these faces building and I was getting worse. If the alcohol wasn’t going to make me hurl, my own anxiety was. We were told that the show would be starting in three minutes and I was started to take it out on my drink. It went pretty quickly.

*Side note* Now this is where my brain gets fuzzy and I apologise. I was a wreck. I did make notes for this piece whilst I was drunk, and they are quite interesting to read sober. Let me tell you.

The show started with Chester Constable and I can remember laughing so hard. He was a great way to start the show and it made me forget for a few minutes what I was going to be doing that night. He managed to make me laugh and forget my mind but that could have had something to do with the alcohol in my system. Then the acts started to come on stage, and it was interesting. I got to see so many different people and different styles of comedy that I found myself in stitches for most of the first half.

At the time of the second half starting, I was onto my fourth drink. My mind was telling me that the chances of me performing were slim to none as there was already ten other people in the wish list hat. I believed it and continued to drink. By the time I was halfway through my fourth one, I looked at my friend and said, it’ll be just my luck that I must get on stage this intoxicated. Well, wasn’t I right? By the time everyone had performed, it was close to the end of the night and it was time for the wish list. They would pick as many as they could to perform that night and picking a couple at the end for a guaranteed spot next week. My chances of performing just shot through the roof and I was way too intoxicated to take it seriously.

The first act of our group performed, and I was sitting there thinking that wasn’t too bad. Who’s going to get up and follow that. Then the host got to the stage and started talking about a car… I knew it was me. Me and my mate looked at each other at the same time and I was just like OH CRAP! My insides wanted to pour onto the floor. My mind was a mess and I’m not going to lie, I was quite surprised that I managed to make it onto the stage without falling over. I got on stage, and my mind went blank. I forgot my name. Forgot where I was. Forgot all about the alcohol and just babbled. I can’t remember what I said, or what jokes I cracked, and a part of me thinks that’s a good thing. I remember people laughing and thinking about well, one laugh is better than none. I think I took the piss out of my name; I mean why wouldn’t I, and of course that got laughs because vroom vroom. But I don’t remember the ins and outs. I remember the bright lights that was shining in my face, magnified by whatever cocktails I had downed. I remember looking into the crowd and not making out faces, they were just blobs that laughed.

As soon as I had finished, I basically ran to my chair, gave a couple of high fives as I sat down and then just wanted to disappear. As soon as the show was over, I made my mate basically run away from the club because I wanted to sink into a pit and just hide! I had done it but at what cost? I remember asking him about if it was funny and he said it was. But then, he would have said anything that night to stop me from beating myself up about it. We made our way back to his and I passed out crying about something I can’t remember. I really did feel for him that day. I remember bumping my head a few times too and I must have been chatting shit, but all the emotion was finally over. I had done it!

I learned quite a lot about myself and about stand up that day. So, I thought I’d make a list of things to do if you ever feel like giving stand-up a go.

  • Do not drink your nerves away! It could end badly!
  • Nerves are okay. It’s good to be nervous because you’re putting yourself out there, just remember that others are too.
  • If you choose an amateur night, you will have plenty other people who have never gotten on stage before so you’re all in the same boat.
  • The idea is to make people laugh, so do that whilst staying true to who you are.
  • If you plan on drinking, EAT FIRST! I didn’t and was way more intoxicated than I should be.
  • Prepare something! Because otherwise you’re on stage forgetting yourself.

I never thought I would get back up and talk to people again because of my teeth. I never thought I’d put myself out there by giving a part of myself to be vulnerable. I was scared that I wasn’t going to make people laugh, even though I do it a lot of the time. I was scared that I would make a fool out of myself and well that’s kind of the point of making people laugh. That day, to that audience, I gave a bit of myself to the world. No, it was far from perfect, but it was me. It was scaring and it was out of my comfort zone. But every single person there that night, helped me push myself and I am so thankful. To all the strangers in the room that laughed at me, thank you. Now, would I do it again? Sure. But I certainly won’t be getting drunk. Maybe I could compare the two, I don’t know. But what I do know is, I want to keep putting myself out of my comfort zone because there’s so much more to this life to experience.

Thank you to everyone who helped and encouraged me to follow my heart to that club that night. Thank you to Liam who held my hand whilst I was so nervous, I thought I was going to hurl. Thank you to the endless love and support I got after! You are all amazing.

Want to see all future fear facing adventures, make sure to follow my blog, Twitter, Facebook or Instagram to stay up to date on what I’m getting up too. Thank you for reading, and I hope that wherever you are in the world, you keep smiling. Ferrari.