Positive Thought #2

Every cloud has a silver lining. You just have to look for it.

A little under a month ago, I attended an assessment of my mental health at my local hospital. I was referred there after being told there was a strong possibility I had BPD and it would be the only way I would know for sure. I attended said appointment and it was awful. I’m not going to sugarcoat. I was a wreck and I felt like I left in a worse state than when I went in. He said another appointment would be in the post but I’m still under assessment.

Fast forward to today and I received two letters from the hospital. The first stating that I had my next assessment appointment come through and the second was my care plan. Because I’m still under assessment as “I have a long history” (their words not mine. Talk about make me feel like I’m loosing my marbles. What they meant to say was, it’s not easy because for a 25 year old female, I’ve had to deal with a fair amount of crap) and we had time constraints. The second point being that I need to see a psychotherapist because he doesn’t believe counselling will help, because he believes I need something more long term.

Normally, this would send me into an anger I can’t get back from. However, I am trying to see the positives. I mean sure, I have a letter confirming I do need help but it’s more than I had last week. I mean sure come the 17th, I’m going to want to cry my eyes out but maybe, just maybe it will help. Maybe, if I actually just stop worrying that I won’t be okay and believe I might be, it won’t be looming around like a bad smell.

I’m one step closer to being able to get my head back to thinking straight. I mean I know it’s not going to happen overnight but the steps are there. And I want you guys to know that you can do it too. Your mental health is important and you are the only person that can make it better. But you have to speak up.

Believe me, I know how hard it is to want to talk when every fibre inside you is telling you not too. I know that most days you don’t even want to get out of bed. That doing normal things like brushing your hair, getting dressed and taking a shower become some of the most difficult. There were days I didn’t want to get out of bed. There were days I wouldn’t shower or get dressed. There were days I was a disgusting slob and I didn’t care. But not this year!

Yesterday, I refused to let myself stay down and sure I was tired and drained from the night before but I managed to get myself out of bed and to socialise with people. I managed to sit and play with daughter without needing anyone else there because I finally felt I could. I know there are days where I haven’t given Kieran the credit he deserves because my goodness he puts up with a lot. And it’s about time I started to dip my toes.

He has been both parents most of the time. He looks after our daughter every day. I have tried. My goodness I try but I know I could do more. I love my daughter more than I ever thought possible but I haven’t been anywhere near as good as a mum as I can. I can’t remember the last time I changed my daughters nappy, put her to bed or even gave her a bath. I can’t remember the last time I read her a story or got her dressed. Kieran does all those things and so much more. To begin with, I breastfed her, I got her dressed and I would bathe her, all with him but i knew he could leave me alone and I would still be fit to look after her. Not so much at the moment.

Now I can tell you that even though I have been at my weakest, I have still cuddled her every time she cried, I have still sung to her at times when she wouldn’t relax and I have sat and listened to music with her dancing. But that’s not enough. And she deserves so much more. But I have tried. Today however, we sat and sang songs and played for an hour this morning. We had time together that I missed so much! And because of her, I knew I was gonna be strong today. Because she needed me to be. So I got up, I got dressed and did my make up and went into town by myself. I may have had a massive panic attack in town and not stay there for very long but I did it and nobody can take that away. I may not have got everything I would have liked done, but I did get what I needed done. And today, even a little bit off a long list is okay.

It’s day two and today, even a little was enough because that’s still more than I did yesterday. So remember, It’s okay that you didn’t get everything you would have wanted done, because you got something done and even if that’s just getting out of bed. That’s worth be proud of. Don’t let your mind dictate what can and can’t be a good day. Let the bad things pass and focus on the things you did today! Because what ifs and could haves aren’t as important as the things you’ve accomplished when you felt like you couldn’t do anything.

I love you guys and thanks for reading. ❤️

On the sixth and seventh day of Blogmas…

On the sixth day of Blogmas, I intended to give you a display of us getting into the festive spirit with our beautiful Christmas jumpers, however, I was so tired. The night before last, Luna had one of the worst nights in a very long time which meant we got little sleep. That meant that the whole of yesterday, I was exhausted. By the time I put my head on my pillow and comfy, I was asleep and didn’t wake up until Luna did this morning. So, I thought, I would do a joint post for both days rather than two separate posts.

Luna wore Rudolf to go and meet Santa. The family photo will be uploaded soon.

Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Muggles.❤️ Thank you to my niece who got me it a few years ago 😍. Comes out every December ❤️

On the seventh day of Blogmas, I want to give you Santa Claus! Today, we took Luna to see Santa Claus for the first time. She couldn’t go last year as we got out of the hospital at 6:40PM Christmas Eve and he already left. We made a point of taking her this year, unfortunately she has been under the weather over the last week, so today when she was a lot brighter, we took her and let’s just say, she was different.

Luna loves a cuddle, she hugs everyone except Santa. She refused to let go of me and refused to go to her dad. She just wanted mummy which I was not going to complain about. She did wave to him when she was leaving but being less than a year old, she was more intrigued by the things moving on Santa’s workshop. And I got thinking, when I was growing up, what did Santa mean to me?

I could swear blind that I once saw Santa Claus. I was about 7, possibly? I can’t be 100% sure but I could swear blind, that across the road, I saw Santa on the roof on the houses. Now, I am pretty sure that I was half asleep, still dreaming but it felt real to me. From that point, I can always remember having Christmas spirit inside me. Even when I got told that Santa wasn’t real and how the presents really came in our stockings, but I still believed in Santa.

I believe that Santa isn’t a person, but more the memory. He is the memory that we should always keep giving without expecting something in return. He is the memory of innocence. A time when things were simpler, and we loved more freely. When we are children, we play with everyone. We make friends in seconds of knowing people and don’t tend to judge. Sure, you get the asshole brats that are everywhere, but generally, when you’re a child, you are friends with everyone, you talk to everyone and you don’t discriminate. Yet, we grow into judgemental assholes. That isn’t fair. We forget what it’s like to be children.

I think for young children, its about a big guy in a red jacket but as you get older, he just becomes a dude dressing up. But think back. When you were children, how excited did you get when you saw Santa? How many of you asked your parents why Santa was at your local shopping centre and not in the North Pole getting ready for Christmas? I mean, I for one, loved to go to my local town centre and see Santa. I remember being excited and telling a stranger what I wanted for Christmas and have no fear.

Now? Well I still believe Santa exists but not in the conventual way. He is the Christmas spirit that lives in us. He is the one who grows with us from children and that we pass onto ours. He is someone who brings hope and excitement all around the world and he is more than just the person. It is the spirit that grows in children all around the world on Christmas Eve, his gift to them is belief. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I want our children to hold onto the belief of Santa for as long as they can. I think we have no right to take that away from them. I mean I’m 25 and I believe in the spirit of Santa and that is my choice.

I think that children learn on their own that he isn’t the big fat man, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t exist. He exists in our hearts, the same as our favourite stories are embedded into our hearts. He is our childhood story. I want Luna to believe in Santa for as long as she can and even longer if she’s like me. People believe in all sorts of things and we shouldn’t tell people they are wrong for it. I can still remember the day I learned out that a fat man didn’t deliver my presents and that was well over ten years ago. I remember being hurt, until I realised that he may not have delivered my presents, but they were delivered in his name, but the person who did, made sure that we believed it was. They went through time and effort to keep up his façade in the name of Christmas, and that was how I came to believe in the spirit of Christmas properly. The spirit that gets people excited to wrap presents, to give gifts and see their excitement. To give without worrying about receiving although, it is always a bonus.

What do you think of Santa? What does he mean to you? Tell me on Twitter @RariAyliffe, Facebook @Openupwithmeblog and Instagram @Openupwithme. Until tomorrow, Merry Christmas.🎄❄️⛄️❤️

On the third day of Blogmas…

Well I would have given you some lovely gingerbread cookies but that went out of the window. They went in the bin.

We had mixed all the ingredients and just needed to put it in the fridge for half hour ready to cut into shapes for the oven… Kieran went upstairs to the toilet and Luna was creating behind me, I turned around to pick her up, so that she could see. By the time I had turned back, a cat appeared out of nowhere and decided that it quite liked the mix and was eating it. Well that put me off making them today as I was pissed off at the waste, it’s been a bad day. Anything that could go wrong, did. However, I won’t let a bad day deter. The gingerbread cookies will be making their Blogmas Debut at some point of the next week.

However, I’m going to give you my list of films to watch at Christmas! I love every one of these films and I could watch them over and over. Like I said before, I’ve been watching Christmas films since October.

Disclosure: So, I have purposely left out films that I don’t consider to be a Christmas film such as “Die Hard” and “Tim Burton’s the Nightmare Before Christmas”. Now, for many of you, I know you would disagree, but they don’t fit my list! I know they are Christmas films as they are set at Christmas time, but they aren’t what I would consider a Christmas film. I love Tim Burton and I love The Nightmare Before Christmas but, I would say it’s set before Christmas although Christmas is the whole reason, he wants to change holidays and has tonnes of Christmas Spirit. I also haven’t included films like Home Alone (because I haven’t seen them) and A Christmas Carol (I love the traditional story and would never want to include it on a cheesy list. However, a version of it is included because it’s not the traditional).

10. Christmas Magic (2011)

So this film is decent if you ask me. Not one of my favourites but it has romance and Christmas. Its about a woman who’s in a coma and she gets sent to help this guy in order to earn her wings and eternal peace, she must save his restaurant. They fall in love and she helps him, and they fall in love. I mean take a young widowed father and a young pretty business woman, chances are they are going to hit it off…it’s a film. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2112127/?ref_=nv_sr_1

9. A Christmas Kiss (2011)

Any film that starts with a random kiss in an elevator gets me intrigued. After about ten minutes, I was glued to the television. It’s a romance story with destiny chucked in. It gives me hope that everything does happen for a reason even if they don’t appear clear at the time. She is also a decorator and they grow closer whilst she’s working on his three trees concept. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1790621/?ref_=nv_sr_1

8. Christmas Cupid (2010)

I absolutely love Ashley Benson and Chad Michael Murray, so this film is always on my must watch. It’s a take on A Christmas Carol in the sense of Ashley Benson in her angel who was her client and is going to teach her to change her ways. It’s a good film and deserves its spot on my list. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1699746/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_18

7. The Spirit of Christmas (2015)

This is probably my favourite ghostly love story. So, this dude comes alive for 12 days ever year. He stays in the same house, in the same place but he’s a ghost so he can’t leave the perimeter. Basically, they solve his murder and gets to live the life he should have. Honestly, it’s a pretty decent story and one I could watch anytime. To be fair, I think this one is going to be watched tonight. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4434688/?ref_=nv_sr_1

6. Crown for Christmas (2015)

This is the story of a maid turned nanny. It’s a great little Christmas story in which the main character falls in love with the prince whilst employed to look after his heir. It’s down to earth meets snob with a great outcome. I love seeing people change over the Christmas period and welcome Christmas into their hearts. Plus, I am a sucker for a love story. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5133572/?ref_=nv_sr_1

5. I’ll Be Home for Christmas (2016)

I watched this for the first-time last week I think and its good! So long lost father comes back to town when his pal dies and it’s all about a family coming together at Christmas. If that wasn’t enough, Giselle Eisenberg is funny and witty. The writers gave her all the best lines. If you haven’t seen it already, I do believe it’s on Netflix. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5860940/?ref_=nv_sr_1

4. Christmas in Boston (2005)

Long before his ‘Suits’ days, Patrick J. Adams stars in this film alongside Marla Sokoloff as Seth and Gina. Two pen pals who fall in love (Okay so I totally wished I could have a pen pal that I met when I was a kid! That would have been awesome (context people! They may not say it, but they were totally in love)) and have been talking for many years when they realise, they are both going to be in the same town (imagine that right, wouldn’t be much of a love story if they didn’t). They get their mates to catfish them and they fall in love as well and it’s a kafuffle. In the end they come clean and all four are paired up. Brilliant film if you love cheese and I most certainly do! https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0497025/?ref_=nv_sr_1

3. The Santa Clause (1994)

This film has been around for as long as I can remember… granted I was 1 when it came out but that’s totally not the point. I grew up knowing this Santa. It’s a Disney film and yet within the first what, ten minutes, Tim Allen has killed Santa… Okay? He killed Santa. He made Santa fall off a roof and Tim Allen puts on the big red coat which makes him the new Santa because of the “Santa” clause. It’s brilliant! (Sorry, SPOILERS!) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111070/?ref_=nv_sr_1

2. Love Actually (2003)

Missing out on the top spot ever so slightly is Love Actually. Oh, My Goodness! I love this film for so many reasons, so I will try to limit them into a few sentences. The cast is impressive! You have people like; the late, great, Alan Rickman who is an icon because of so many roles, Liam Neeson, Emma Thompson, Colin Firth, Martin Freeman, Thomas Brodie-Sangster and Kiera Knightley and so many others. It’s a comedy and its one time that many stories that all come together play out in certain scenes. It’s truly British and worth a hot chocolate over! I know so many people probably hate it, but I love it! https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0314331/?ref_=nv_sr_1

1. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)

So of course, my number one Christmas film is the green machine that is “How the Grinch stole Christmas”. Jim Carey made this role! I love Benedict Cumberbatch dearly, but Jim’s Grinch has stolen my heart.

I remember going to see it in the cinema with my sister and my dad when it came out which was incredible as we didn’t get to do that much. So that film has always made me remember where I first saw it. It’s also a film that brought me and Kieran closer.
Way before we got together, we sat in the kitchen and watched it because I had to have someone looking after me due to collapsing and sickness. He looked after me and we bonded over this film.

The story itself is great because I think a lot of us can relate to the Grinch in some way or another. If you haven’t seen it, I suggest watching it. Because it’s amazing. I love it. I love the one liners and the costume. I love the hair of the Who’s! But most of all I love Cindy Lou Who. I think the way she embodies Christmas Spirit and doesn’t let them forget about the Grinch is the reason it’s my all-time favourite Christmas Film! https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0170016/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Can you think of any that I’ve missed? What are your favourite Christmas films? Let me know on Twitter @RariAyliffe Facebook ‘OpenUpWithMe’, Instagram @openupwithme.
Thank you for reading and I hope you know a little bit more about me and where my Christmas Spirit comes from. Although I’m not entirely sure. Merry Blogmas Readers
🎄❄️⛄️❤

 

On the second day of Blogmas

On the second day of Blogmas, you guys got from me, a whole load of ramble about why I love Christmas. Enjoy.

Today is all about things I love about the Christmas time! Now, I don’t know if you know this already, but Christmas is by far my favourite time of year. It’s a time that I look forward to the most. I think everything is magnified so much that I just can’t help it.

throwback to Christmas 2014!

I have loved Christmas ever since I was a little girl. I started getting excited in October and would be on a hype until January. I think as soon as my birthday passed, it was the next thing to look forward to. Halloween and Bonfire night isn’t a big thing over here. Even though we are celebrating the fact that Guy Fawkes tried to blow up Parliament, but that’s for another time.

Traditionally Christmas Day would be for the brothers and sisters and we would have our cousins here boxing day and they would spend the night. Christmas Night, we would all bring out quilts and pillows and whatever else, as well as all our DVDs that we got for Christmas and spend the night eating sweets and spending time with our siblings. It was incredible because growing up they were a massive part of my life. Boxing day would consist of the cousins and my aunt coming over, us all playing together and just being kids really. We were all very close.

Going back to 1999, I remember doing so much around Christmas time that its just in my blood. When I was a Junior Solider at the Salvation Army, I remember going to this hospice every year and singing for them. It always seemed like a long journey but looking back, I loved those trips. I loved seeing their faces as we sung to them. I loved embracing the Christmas carols and spending time with those that didn’t have long left. I remember always being wowed by the decorations and overwhelmed by how loving and warm everybody made it.

Then we have Christmas films! If any of you have Virgin, there is a channel called Christmas24 from the middle of October. It’s basically films24 but Christmas. Obviously. I think that just encourages my Christmas spirit even though everyone around me says its too early. Every Christmas movie is cliché, but I don’t ever care! Give me a soppy, loved up, completely cheesy Christmas film and a hot chocolate and I am one very happy girl. It doesn’t even have to be Christmas time and id still love it. Anything with Santa and romance is a bonus!

Music at Christmas time tends to be jollier! All the Christmas Songs I like are anyway. But I know not everyone has the same taste. I mean I know people that don’t enjoy or embrace Christmas at all! And I hate it! I couldn’t imagine a life without all the festive spirit. More on my favourite Christmas Songs later this week.

Christmas to me, means coming together with family, friends and loved ones. It’s about coming together so that nobody is left behind. I hate the idea of anyone being alone at Christmas because there are always people that care. I love having my family around me, so much so, I arranged a yearly dinner at my mums so that members of the family could have Christmas Dinner all together on Christmas Eve, so people could be with other families on Christmas Day.

I believe that Father Christmas is real in a sense. I believe that he lives in us as Christmas Spirit. I think that he is what we tell our Children, he is what they base their idea of Christmas on. What some consider a lie. But what I hope Santa teaches Luna is to be open and giving. To remember to give more than you receive. That life isn’t about presents, its about good will. I hope he teaches her that the magic is in what you do for others, that he goes out of his way to make sure everyone feels special one day a year. I think that as people grow up, they lose what Santa means to them. They lose the magical side to ‘reality’. “How does he get to everyone in one night?”, “How does he go down chimneys when he’s a fat old man?” and my personal favourite, “How comes no one has ever seen him?”. Yet, he is everywhere at Christmas. He is the ones that are going above and beyond to make sure they see people smiling. Every time a child sits on Santa’s knee and tells him what they want, a man is giving that child hope and belief that if they are a good person, they will get rewarded. It’s just most of us forget that the reward should be the gratitude from others not money or presents.

Think about those around you, think about their plans for Christmas. Now ask yourself, if you were alone, would you want someone to reach out? If the answer is yes, then do it for others. If you know they have no plans and would be alone, invite them over for a cuppa and a biscuit discussing Christmas songs that were number one when you were a child or the best present you ever received. You know they are going hungry? Think about how much food you are going to waste this year? Why not make extra and take it to a local homeless shelter. It doesn’t cost anything to think of others. And that’s what Santa does every year. That is why I love Christmas.

What does Christmas mean to you? Let me know on Facebook @openupwithmeblog, Instagram @openupwithme.

Thank you for reading and I hope you know a little bit more about me and where my Christmas Spirit comes from. Although I’m not entirely sure. Merry Blogmas Readers🎄⛄️❤️

On the first day of Blogmas!

On the first day of Blogmas; I’m giving you an excuse…

Okay, so I wouldn’t be me if something didn’t go wrong at the first chance. I started today off by saying white rabbits like I do every month (it’s supposed to bring good luck) and I had originally planned for us to take Luna to her meet Santa for the first time, however that has had to be rearranged as she has a cold. I don’t particularly want to take her out in the cold so we are gonna keep her wrapped up warm with plenty of snuggles today.

I thought, considering what I had originally had planned failed, I’d bring a bit of Christmas Spirit to this post.

My little brother is allergic to traditional Christmas trees… I know right, what a sucker. Being allergic to Christmas! But because of it, we can’t really have the real or even fake Christmas tree so we got this one.

It was £25 from Wilkos but it’s perfect! It’s different and colourful and once it’s got a bit of tinsel it’ll be festive. And it also means we still have a tree that we can put our presents under, even if it’s a twig light tree.

Although it’s only the first day of Blogmas, I’ve been in the Christmas spirit for months! I just can’t wait to have my first proper Christmas with our daughter. She’s gonna be awake for most of it this year and be able to open presents.

I hope today is the start of Christmas for everyone. I hope you spend time with your families as your decorating the trees, wrapping presents or listening to Christmas songs. Just enjoy the festive spirit because it’ll be gone quicker than we realise. ❤️

It’s okay to not be okay.

Today. I sat in the bath and just cried. I cried because it hurts. Right now, I am battling yet another infection as well as my mental health. I’m trying to battle being a great mum and a loving partner. I’m trying to push myself into being happy but it’s not working.

I can spend so many hours making sure that those around me have someone to talk to when they need them but half the time I just want someone to talk to me. To ask me if I’m okay and mean it so that I can open up to someone. I want someone to be able to look me in the eye and already know that I’m having a bad day and just hug me without saying a word. I want someone to care enough to make the effort.

I know that I spend most of my days portraying a facade. I pretend that I’m happy and okay. I pretend that nothing is bothering me. I paint this picture that I can handle anything because I want my daughter to know that she is capable of anything. That no matter what this life throws at us, we take it and rise above it.

That is me at my most vulnerable. Naked and alone. It takes everything in my fibre to bring my head back up when I’m washing it even though my brain is telling me to just give up. I battle my brain telling me how easy it would be to break the razor and give myself real physical pain. I battle my brain telling me that there’s no point in continuing because nobody cares. I battle myself every day. Whether it’s infections or mental well-being.

I know that again I’m pushing people away. I know that I’m building barriers again to protect everyone from myself. I know that I reached out to people and had it thrown in my face. I have people telling me that it’s gonna be okay and it’s just a bad day. I get that. But what do I do when the bad days outweigh the good? What do I do when I cause myself so much pain and suffering? What do I do when I’m the reason for my pain?

I’m so scared each and every day. I’m scared that I’m just gonna give up on myself the way I feel like everyone else has. I’m scared that I’m gonna push everyone away because I can’t stand to be hurt again. I can’t stand to feel isolated by people that claim to care.

But for now, I will continue to fight and each every day. I’ll fight alone if I have to but I won’t give up trying. I may feel like it. I may feel like everyone would be happier without me but I know that it’s because I’m down that it’s magnified. I know one day in my future, my mental health is going to be okay and the good days will outweigh the bad. I will fight for that brighter future because I deserve it.

Just because I have a smile and I’m laughing, doesn’t mean that internally I’m not screaming out. I know that I have friends that care. I know I have a partner who adores me. And I have the most perfect little girl. They are worth fighting for.

This is two sides to the very same coin. Taken on the same day. Within ten minutes of each other. And it’s okay. It’s okay to be happy and it’s okay to be upset. It’s okay to cry and let it out. It’s okay to not be okay all the time. It doesn’t make you any weaker. It doesn’t make you any less of a person. But you have the ability to make others feel better! Don’t waste it.

This post isn’t for attention. It isn’t for sympathy. It’s for recognition. I want you to recognise that even those that paint the biggest smiles are suffering. I want you to just hug those you care about and let them know that they mean something to you. I want you to check in on those that you know aren’t okay. Because right now, they may just need a chat or even a distraction.

Swings and roundabouts.

It’s funny. I started writing my blog post when Luna went down for her nap at around lunch time and it couldn’t be more different to what I’m writing now at nearly 8.

So to begin with my day started off beautifully. I got cuddles with my little princess and I was happy. Within an hour, we found out that my mums car had been broken into along with a few overs and it really annoyed me. Why do people do that? Like really? Just so you know, one of the cars that you broke into and could only steal the face of the radio off, yeah that was my mums Christmas present that she received 36 hours prior. So well done. I hope you’re proud. I hope the £9.99 face was worth it. I hope it gave you such a rush and it makes your Christmas perfect. But know that you will not dampen my spirit or make me think any less.

You had a choice. A choice in which you committed a crime, multiple times. That choice you repeated, was a bad one. Now, I could let you get the better of me and be angry that you destroyed her property, but I won’t. Instead I hope that you get yourself out of this funk and eat a proper meal, your legs are twig thin. It can’t be healthy. But after today, you will be just a person who made a bad choice. The window will be replaced, an alarm will be fitted and she will continue to drive it.

After reporting the crime, we found out that even though he didn’t wear gloves, even though there was cctv footage of him, he got away with it because they wouldn’t be taking it further. Again I got annoyed that there wouldn’t be justice. Again I felt betrayed by people, but I wouldn’t let it throw me. He may have got away with some possessions, he may have broken four vehicles in total, but it brought people together. We got to know our new neighbours and we all had a right laugh at your expense. We made a joke out of you and continued our day. Because you will not beat us.

At about 4 this afternoon, I got a call about an appraisal for some of the items my Nan had left my auntie Jackie that she had given to mum to sell. We took them down and found out about the items in question of which, one was a locket. It had old photos in them, ones of my aunts and uncles, but behind them was a picture of a man that me and my sister didn’t recognise. We put the picture to one side so we could show mum. Well, when we did, we found out that it was a picture of my great grandad, someone my mum had never seen before but she knew exactly who he was. It’s funny because had we not sold the locket, we would never have taken out the pictures. We may have lost a face from the radio but we gained a more important one.

Charles Samuel Bolton, my great grandad. ❤️

You see. Life is all swings and roundabouts. (Or so I’m told 🤷🏼‍♀️). If a day starts off bad, it may not end that way. Just hold out hope.

P.S. to those of you that asked why I hadn’t written. The truth is, I’m not okay. So even though I really want to write, and most of the time I do, I think that you guys wouldn’t want to read it. So I don’t post it. I would rather write with quality than consider my quantity. But I love you guys and I am so thankful to you. ❤️