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Lifestyle❤️

Lets talk about change…

The same people that called me self-centred, shallow, and superficial are the ones obsessed with reality tv and what their favourite celebrity is doing next, however there are plenty of bigger issues in the world. Issues that get ignored and downgraded. Ones that get tossed aside until the problem has escalated to an extreme that may or may not be reversible.

I tend to avoid the news or news programmes because they just frustrate me. Not only do you have the likes of Piers Morgan sprouting his utter bollocks and claiming to speak on behalf of a nation… that same nation that he sits on his horse and judges, the same nation that he slates and undermines in every opportunity. Now, he can have opinions all he likes, hell i’d embrace his opinions if he actually presented them like a civiliased person and not an emotionless robot. I also watched some show presented by Victoria Derbyshire where she was having a ‘conversation’ with an MP that was going for leadership… It was tragic on both parts and I couldn’t actually believe that these two people were getting paid to have this chat on live air. It was a disaster and I learned nothing except the MP is a douche and couldn’t stand by any statements in typical political fashion and the presenter lost control of her interview which made me cringe.

I got various news websites up to have a look at what the current issues were today and oh my goodness. They are as much of a joke as this country is turning too. I suppose it makes sense that the next PM we have, will be a clown. Over the majority of news websites that I looked at, the biggest headlines were to do with the police being called to Boris Johnsons flat because of an argument and Trump trying to start yet another war. Neither, in my opinion should be headlined news. I am not going to say that I could do a better job, but I’d like to think that in such a confusing time, the news channels would be doing a better job at presenting more reasons to smile than reasons to question reality. Do I honestly care that Boris Johnson had police called to his flat because of an argument with his mrs? No. It doesn’t concern me.

Im concerned about the hundreds of people that sleep on the street with no roof over their heads. I’m concerned about the thousands of people that are living in situations that are truly questionable of their human rights. I’m concerned about the ones that go to bed cramped and scared because life is hard. I care about the thousands of peoples that are suffering with poor health, both physical and mental that are being ignored. I’m concenred about a country that cares more about what the richest 5% are doing than the poorest 20%. I’m concerned about the education system that we trust our most precious people in. The same education system that fails everyone if they don’t fit a certain criteria. I’m concerned about the issues we ignore!

We live in a world where women are criticised for how we look and what we wear, instead of teaching boys and men to respect womens minds. We live in a world where is so much easier to point the finger than accept responsibility and make the changes. We live in a world where no doesn’t mean no, where no just means not yet. We live in a world where you are slightly different, you’re less of a person and that’s not acceptable. It’s not acceptable that we say things like “boys will be boys” or “men should be strong”. It’s not acceptable that we look down on people because they come from a single parent background or on benefits.

As a society, we are not acceptable. But as a society, it’s us who needs to stand up and make the changes. We elect the MPS that sit on the government that runs our country. We raise our issues and we have our voices! Start using them for things that matter. For issues that matter. Stand up for the little people that haven’t quite found their voices. Stand up for those who voices are drowned out by people who think they know better. Stand up for the sick and elderly. Stand up for your families and friends. Every single person on this planet has the capability to make a change. Stop spreading hate, embrace people for who they are but don’t accept that its all they will ever be. Stop focusing on celebrity news and culture and embrace your own. Embrace your lives and make changes to make your lives better. If you have issues with the world, don’t wait for someone else to start the fight, start it yourself and get others involved. As a society, we are failing. Embrace those that dare to be different and stand alongside those that want to speak out. Because otherwise, the voices that were gifted to each and everyone of us, are going to waste.

For a while, I forgot I had a voice. I let so many of my issues go unheard and then I thought, well screw you. I’m important too and what I say matters. I mean sure, I’m one person. But this one person, has 42 followers directly to this blog and over 400 followers on twitter. That’s over 400 sets of ears that could read this and if one person shares it, then the possible audience will just grow because that is the power of social media. That is the power we have as a society, so why don’t we use it?

 

Thank you for reading. I know I’ve been a bit distant recently, but I promise to blog more. After all, my voice needs to be heard one way or another. I hope you all have an amazing weekend. Follow me on Twitter and Insta @OpenUpWithMe and head over to my facebook page by searching ‘openupwithmeblog’. Until the next time, keep smiling. Ferrari. ❤️

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Blogmas!❤️

On the sixth and seventh day of Blogmas…

On the sixth day of Blogmas, I intended to give you a display of us getting into the festive spirit with our beautiful Christmas jumpers, however, I was so tired. The night before last, Luna had one of the worst nights in a very long time which meant we got little sleep. That meant that the whole of yesterday, I was exhausted. By the time I put my head on my pillow and comfy, I was asleep and didn’t wake up until Luna did this morning. So, I thought, I would do a joint post for both days rather than two separate posts.

Luna wore Rudolf to go and meet Santa. The family photo will be uploaded soon.

Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Muggles.❤️ Thank you to my niece who got me it a few years ago 😍. Comes out every December ❤️

On the seventh day of Blogmas, I want to give you Santa Claus! Today, we took Luna to see Santa Claus for the first time. She couldn’t go last year as we got out of the hospital at 6:40PM Christmas Eve and he already left. We made a point of taking her this year, unfortunately she has been under the weather over the last week, so today when she was a lot brighter, we took her and let’s just say, she was different.

Luna loves a cuddle, she hugs everyone except Santa. She refused to let go of me and refused to go to her dad. She just wanted mummy which I was not going to complain about. She did wave to him when she was leaving but being less than a year old, she was more intrigued by the things moving on Santa’s workshop. And I got thinking, when I was growing up, what did Santa mean to me?

I could swear blind that I once saw Santa Claus. I was about 7, possibly? I can’t be 100% sure but I could swear blind, that across the road, I saw Santa on the roof on the houses. Now, I am pretty sure that I was half asleep, still dreaming but it felt real to me. From that point, I can always remember having Christmas spirit inside me. Even when I got told that Santa wasn’t real and how the presents really came in our stockings, but I still believed in Santa.

I believe that Santa isn’t a person, but more the memory. He is the memory that we should always keep giving without expecting something in return. He is the memory of innocence. A time when things were simpler, and we loved more freely. When we are children, we play with everyone. We make friends in seconds of knowing people and don’t tend to judge. Sure, you get the asshole brats that are everywhere, but generally, when you’re a child, you are friends with everyone, you talk to everyone and you don’t discriminate. Yet, we grow into judgemental assholes. That isn’t fair. We forget what it’s like to be children.

I think for young children, its about a big guy in a red jacket but as you get older, he just becomes a dude dressing up. But think back. When you were children, how excited did you get when you saw Santa? How many of you asked your parents why Santa was at your local shopping centre and not in the North Pole getting ready for Christmas? I mean, I for one, loved to go to my local town centre and see Santa. I remember being excited and telling a stranger what I wanted for Christmas and have no fear.

Now? Well I still believe Santa exists but not in the conventual way. He is the Christmas spirit that lives in us. He is the one who grows with us from children and that we pass onto ours. He is someone who brings hope and excitement all around the world and he is more than just the person. It is the spirit that grows in children all around the world on Christmas Eve, his gift to them is belief. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I want our children to hold onto the belief of Santa for as long as they can. I think we have no right to take that away from them. I mean I’m 25 and I believe in the spirit of Santa and that is my choice.

I think that children learn on their own that he isn’t the big fat man, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t exist. He exists in our hearts, the same as our favourite stories are embedded into our hearts. He is our childhood story. I want Luna to believe in Santa for as long as she can and even longer if she’s like me. People believe in all sorts of things and we shouldn’t tell people they are wrong for it. I can still remember the day I learned out that a fat man didn’t deliver my presents and that was well over ten years ago. I remember being hurt, until I realised that he may not have delivered my presents, but they were delivered in his name, but the person who did, made sure that we believed it was. They went through time and effort to keep up his façade in the name of Christmas, and that was how I came to believe in the spirit of Christmas properly. The spirit that gets people excited to wrap presents, to give gifts and see their excitement. To give without worrying about receiving although, it is always a bonus.

What do you think of Santa? What does he mean to you? Tell me on Twitter @RariAyliffe, Facebook @Openupwithmeblog and Instagram @Openupwithme. Until tomorrow, Merry Christmas.🎄❄️⛄️❤️

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Blogmas!❤️

Day 1; Part 2.

My earlier post was a lot shorter than I had intended and I thought that was pretty poor of me so I thought I’d give you another post.

I thought I’d look around for some Christmas tag inspired posts. Shoutout to https://www.rootreport.com/christmas-tag-questions/ for giving me these ideas. Hopefully a bit more Christmas cheer for you guys.

As a kid, did a sibling ever receive a present that you wished was for you?

Hmm. Now that’s a tricky one. I can’t exactly remember us all asking for the same things. I remember asking for ghds for years and my sister got the hair straighteners she asked for and hers could straighten hers wet. However, when I did finally get them, I got diagnosed with alopecia the following month so couldn’t use them. I still have them though and I can use them every now and again so win win.

Be honest: do you like giving gifts or receiving gifts better?

Before this year, I’d have said receiving. But I can’t wait to see Luna’s face when she sees what she got so definitely giving.

Do you make New Years resolutions? Do you stick to them?

Every year! Although I am hoping that this year will be different. I want to make realistic goals and make a brighter year ahead.

Do you open any presents on Christmas Eve?

We always get to open one present Christmas Eve. And it’s funny because I generally know all my presents so I try to pick one I don’t have a clue about. Until one year I opened a game for a console that I hadn’t got yet. 🤣

Do you visit a poor’s people places on Christmas day?

I used to. But not so much anymore. I want to change that when Luna’s a bit bigger. Make some new traditions for her.

Have you ever made a snowman?

Yes! And the last time I made one I sang along with Frozen! Disney is life so I kinda am not surprised.

How many gifts that you received on Christmas?

I don’t know? I don’t make a habit of counting my presents.

How you decorate your house on a charismas day?

Well, we haven’t really been at home when we had one for Christmas so we didn’t see the point in getting decorations. But as soon as we’ve got our own place, it’ll be a different story.

Is your Christmas tree real or fake?

It’s twigs with bulbs? It’s fake. My brother is allergic to them so we go for a more unconventional tree.

Most memorable Holiday moment?

Last year. Bringing Luna home Christmas Eve!

Tell me about a person who makes your Christmas day very special?

I think my mum has always tried to make it special for us. She makes up for so much but we appreciate her. She’s incredible.

Tell me which celebrations you like the most that are the birthday celebration or Christmas celebrations.

Call me vain. Gotta be birthdays, it’s all about me. But Luna’s birthday is more important than Christmas this year so 🤷🏼‍♀️.

Use one noise to describe how excited you are for christmas.

EEEKKK!

What holiday traditions are you looking forward to most this year?

Making new ones with Luna. But more to come on them later on in Blogmas!

What is the best Christmas gift you’ve ever received? What is the worst present you’ve ever received? What is your favorite Christmas film? What is your favorite Christmas song?

These will also be answered in future Blogmas posts. Keep your eyes pealed!

What is your all-time favorite holiday food/sweet treat?

Erm probably Ferreo Rocher 😍. I get them every year from my mum. By far the greatest!

What is your favorite thing about christmas?

Spending time with my family! It’s the only time I really see some of them so it’s nice.

What makes the holidays special for you?

Again. It’s family. I’m very family orientated.

What would be your dream place to visit for the holiday season?

Disney World Orlando Resort, Florida. Don’t know why. Maybe because it’s the most magical place on earth and Christmas is the most magical time. They go well together.

What you like the most you stay in home with your family or traveling with them on Christmas?

Staying in because I know some of them can’t handle travelling.

When do you start getting excited for Christmas?

As soon as Christmas24 comes on my virgin box! I love it. From half way through October through to January it’s the only channel I really watch!

You have been granted one Christmas wish…what will it be?

That every person in my life receives happiness and love around them at this time of year. It’s the most magical but also the loneliest. It’s the time to get people involved. If you know someone whose alone this Christmas, invite them round! No one deserves to be alone this time of year.

So thank you! Thank you for reading and I hope you know a little bit more about me and Christmas time. Merry Blogmas Readers🎄⛄️❤️

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Blogmas!❤️

On the first day of Blogmas!

On the first day of Blogmas; I’m giving you an excuse…

Okay, so I wouldn’t be me if something didn’t go wrong at the first chance. I started today off by saying white rabbits like I do every month (it’s supposed to bring good luck) and I had originally planned for us to take Luna to her meet Santa for the first time, however that has had to be rearranged as she has a cold. I don’t particularly want to take her out in the cold so we are gonna keep her wrapped up warm with plenty of snuggles today.

I thought, considering what I had originally had planned failed, I’d bring a bit of Christmas Spirit to this post.

My little brother is allergic to traditional Christmas trees… I know right, what a sucker. Being allergic to Christmas! But because of it, we can’t really have the real or even fake Christmas tree so we got this one.

It was £25 from Wilkos but it’s perfect! It’s different and colourful and once it’s got a bit of tinsel it’ll be festive. And it also means we still have a tree that we can put our presents under, even if it’s a twig light tree.

Although it’s only the first day of Blogmas, I’ve been in the Christmas spirit for months! I just can’t wait to have my first proper Christmas with our daughter. She’s gonna be awake for most of it this year and be able to open presents.

I hope today is the start of Christmas for everyone. I hope you spend time with your families as your decorating the trees, wrapping presents or listening to Christmas songs. Just enjoy the festive spirit because it’ll be gone quicker than we realise. ❤️

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Being a mum❤️ Family❤️ Lifestyle❤️ Uncategorized

Don’t be afraid to be who you are.

Long before I found out that I was pregnant, I wanted to be a person that my siblings and nieces could look up to. I know there are times where I have failed miserably and sometimes, I lose it way too quickly but one thing they can say is, that I stand up for my views and what I believe in. I may just be one person, but I believe that my voice matters. Everyone’s voice matters!

When I started this blog, I wanted a space to share my views and my beliefs without feeling like I was ramming them down people’s throats. I gave myself the space to write what I want and how I feel and if people wanted to read it, it would be down to them. I wanted to cover a range of topics, no matter how personal or controversial they would be. Now, I know, not everyone will agree with what I’m saying and loads of people with have their own opinions which is great. I want to provoke healthy discussion on issues.

A few weeks ago, me and my partner were walking to the shops just down the road, we were talking, and he realised that I was wearing all his clothes. It’s true. I had my bra and underwear on, but I also had his boxers over the top, his joggers, his top and jumper on. I have always found that men’s clothes are better comfort wise compared to women. It got me thinking, why is it socially acceptable for females to cross-dress and wear men’s clothes but not the other way around? Why is it that many people of the world have such a problem with men wearing women’s clothes but not vice versa? Why is it that the world we see today, the world in which our children are growing up in, so hypocritical? Why are there such views around what we wear? It’s not just men that receive this but women also.

Some men are taught from a young age that its not acceptable to wear women’s clothes, they are taught that it’s feminine and that it means that they are gay or have gay tendencies. This isn’t true. You can be completely straight and still wearing a dress. I have friends that have dressed up with their daughters because they asked them to. I have friends that let their sons wear fairy wings and put on a dress. They wanted their children to be comfortable and wouldn’t knock them for trying.

Some of them said there wasn’t a problem whilst they were playing, but they would find it awkward in other situations and that’s where their problem was, whilst others have said there wasn’t a problem with them, but they would avoid it as it was a problem for the outside world. Some people felt that by saying no, they would be putting issues onto the child and others felt that saying what they can or can’t do will only push them further into it.

Now for me, I want my daughter to be open and accepting. I want her to be who she wants without fear of discrimination and without fear of others. I want her to wear what she wants, be who she wants to be and love whoever she feels she has a connection with. I want her to be able to go out in what she wants with her head held high and pride in who she is. Had she been a boy, I would be the same. If I ever have a son, and he said to me that he wanted a pram, I’d go down the shops and buy him one for his birthday or Christmas, because he shouldn’t have to feel like it’s a girl’s toy. I know many men push their children in prams and that is all you are setting them up for. If he wanted to go out to the shops or to play in a princess dress and pretend, he’s a princess, then guess what, I will help get him dressed and I will sit him down. I will explain that although there is nothing wrong in how he wants to dress or what he wants to play with, the world has their own opinions and may think it’s wrong. I’d tell him that people would point and stare with possible comments because he was different, and they couldn’t accept that.

I think children need an imagination. They need to believe in magic and make believe because it helps them broaden their minds. It helps them become more creative and more unique. It helps develop writers and poets, acting and theatre stars, it helps them become musicians and activists. It helps create a brighter world. The world gets gloomier as you grow older, so let a child be a child. Let them live with no fear of the outside world, they will grow up and have enough of it. The world will have rules for them that will attempt to limit who they are and what they can do. So just let them live while they are young. Let them play with what they want to play and wear what they want to wear.

I do not have a problem with allowing children and people to be who they want to be. But the world we live in does. I have been alive 25 years, and its only recently that a gay couple, whether it be men or women, are finally allowed to marry each other. That’s horrendous. Why as a society do, we feel that we can dictate who we can or can’t love just because it’s not traditional? Why is it, as a society, we feel that its okay to victimise people because they are different? Why, as a society, do we think it’s okay to belittle people because they are different?

I know many people feel differently, and I get that. It is okay to think differently. We are all individuals and are all unique. Even identical twins have different fingerprints. Each person on this planet matters. If they want to dress different, why do we feel that we are worth more and can tell them differently? We are all made up on skin and bones. We all will live in this world and wear clothes. We will all have different views, and nobody can tell you that you are wrong. Just don’t be hypocritical. That is where my problem lies.

When I wrote this, I wanted to have some research behind me. I looked at celebrities that have cross-dressed and they are still respected. Celebrities like the entire band Queen, who did the I Want to Break Free video in drag. They are one of the greatest rock bands this world has ever seen and yet, that video caused so much controversy at the time, where as now is considered iconic. Weasley Snipes, Patrick Swayze, John Leguizamo who dressed up in drag for a role in a film and yet they are still great actors and it hasn’t changed who they are. The film in question is ‘To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar’, check it out on IMDB if you believe me. Another iconic film with drag, is Rocky Horror Picture Show. That film is incredible but also banned in some countries. They are all living and breathing. Wearing a dress didn’t change who they are. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114682/

I know for me, I will allow my daughter to be who she wants. I will hold her hand and show her off with pride. Because I want her to know that she is who she is, and we love her regardless. I just wish the world was a bit more accepting. I’d rather surround myself with people that express themselves freely than try to determine who they should be.

 ❤️