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Blogmas!❤️

On the fifth day of Blogmas…

On the fifth day of Blogmas, I gave you a post at a ‘reasonable’ time. (I started at half 7, I’m feeling optimistic.) Go me! Luna is all tucked up in bed, Christmas songs coming through my headphones and my laptop with my plan for tonight set out and I just can’t find the inspiration to write it. Well, I decided that I would just let my fingers do the typing and my heart do the thinking.

Today, I was talking to one of my friends that I used to see weekly at the pub for karaoke and I was in a good mood. He said that it was like looking at a twin because he forgot what it looked like to see me smiling and it looked healthy. It’s true, I was. This is the one time of year that I forget just how hideous I find my smile and lose myself in the magic. Its amazing how something so simple as wrapping presents can bring someone so much joy.

It may sound silly to you, but I consider wrapping presents to be an art form. I think there are so many ways to wrap presents because not every present comes in a box and presents come in every size. Some are big, and some are small. Some cost a month’s wages and others cost an hour’s wage. It’s incredible. But the joy comes knowing that come Christmas day, I get to share in their excitement. I get to see how happy they get over something that to others may seem trivial. So why is it that we can sit there and accept that people want different presents, but we judge them on the biggest gift of all and that’s the life they choose to live.

I mean I can remember one year, my brother had asked for a film that I couldn’t stand, and thought was absolute rubbish, yet its one of his favourites. Now, I for one am not going to tell him he’s wrong for liking that film because we all have different tastes. I didn’t turn my nose up when he opened it because I know that he loves it and that would have undermined his present. This year, I have five things all from WWE, and I don’t care because I will wear my new clothes with pride. Yet, I have had so many people judge me because I will happily watch two men act a wrestling script and buy into it. I have people judge me for being a mark, but I couldn’t care because I enjoy it. So why is it, we can accept peoples presents, even when we don’t like them, but we can’t accept life choices?

I think that there are many sides to a person, the same way there is many sides to a wrapped present. You can only see what’s on the outside not what’s inside until you take off the layer and see it with your own eyes. People are like that. Some people, me included, can be this confident, strong, determined person but on the inside screaming out for help. On the inside, I am crying, and I can’t stop. I pick every tiny detail of everything I do apart and over analyse everything. I doubt everything I do, and I live in fear that everything is going to go wrong like it has so many times before. I’m not what you see on the outside. I have many layers of me that some don’t ever get to know, and others are lucky enough to experience. I mean don’t get me wrong, I can and have been a horrible person. I am only human, and I made mistakes. But that doesn’t define me. The same as the clothes I wear, don’t define my wealth, and the jobs we do don’t define our place in this world. It just meant that I picked the wrong choice and that’s okay if I learnt from what I did.

Way too many people will judge you. Way too many people in this world will try to undermine and devalue you. Don’t let them. You are better at being you than anyone and you should know that. I for one, know what I am, I know who I am, and as much as I doubt that I’m doing the right thing, I’m trusting my heart to lead me to where I want to go and my head to guide me on the right track getting there. There are times I fail, and I get back up and try again.

Even though I’m scared of failure, even though I’m scared of rejection, I will always try again because even on the days I don’t have confidence in myself, people around me do and they are the ones I should focus on. They are the ones that don’t judge the people we are or the people we want to be. Despite the negatives that are all around you, listen and follow the positives.

You readers are my gift. In August 2017, I started this blog as an outlet and posted one thing. It took a whole year to post another and even though I let you guys down sometimes, you still come back and read. It really touches me. I have been having dark days, and one of you will message me saying how you loved my blog and you can’t wait to read more that I believe that my voice matters. Because even though I write on here, I don’t think anyone’s going to read it. Every time that figure goes up and someone, somewhere is reading what I wrote, I sit in awe. It amazes me that a post I’ve written has reached the other side of this planet. And I want you to know that I truly thank you for all your support. Because on the days that I don’t trust what I’m writing, like today, you guys give me the inspiration for a post.

Appreciate those around you, because during your hardest days and longest nights, they love you regardless. They will stand by you if you stay true to who you are. Appreciate that even though today was hard and some of you may felt like breaking down, it’s over another day that you kicked ass and lived. Just make sure those days mattered.

Her 1st Stocking 😍❤️

Twitter @RariAyliffe Facebook ‘OpenUpWithMe’, Instagram @openupwithme.

And until tomorrow. Thank you for reading my post. Merry Blogmas Readers🎄❄️⛄️❤

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Blogmas!❤️

On the second day of Blogmas

On the second day of Blogmas, you guys got from me, a whole load of ramble about why I love Christmas. Enjoy.

Today is all about things I love about the Christmas time! Now, I don’t know if you know this already, but Christmas is by far my favourite time of year. It’s a time that I look forward to the most. I think everything is magnified so much that I just can’t help it.

throwback to Christmas 2014!

I have loved Christmas ever since I was a little girl. I started getting excited in October and would be on a hype until January. I think as soon as my birthday passed, it was the next thing to look forward to. Halloween and Bonfire night isn’t a big thing over here. Even though we are celebrating the fact that Guy Fawkes tried to blow up Parliament, but that’s for another time.

Traditionally Christmas Day would be for the brothers and sisters and we would have our cousins here boxing day and they would spend the night. Christmas Night, we would all bring out quilts and pillows and whatever else, as well as all our DVDs that we got for Christmas and spend the night eating sweets and spending time with our siblings. It was incredible because growing up they were a massive part of my life. Boxing day would consist of the cousins and my aunt coming over, us all playing together and just being kids really. We were all very close.

Going back to 1999, I remember doing so much around Christmas time that its just in my blood. When I was a Junior Solider at the Salvation Army, I remember going to this hospice every year and singing for them. It always seemed like a long journey but looking back, I loved those trips. I loved seeing their faces as we sung to them. I loved embracing the Christmas carols and spending time with those that didn’t have long left. I remember always being wowed by the decorations and overwhelmed by how loving and warm everybody made it.

Then we have Christmas films! If any of you have Virgin, there is a channel called Christmas24 from the middle of October. It’s basically films24 but Christmas. Obviously. I think that just encourages my Christmas spirit even though everyone around me says its too early. Every Christmas movie is cliché, but I don’t ever care! Give me a soppy, loved up, completely cheesy Christmas film and a hot chocolate and I am one very happy girl. It doesn’t even have to be Christmas time and id still love it. Anything with Santa and romance is a bonus!

Music at Christmas time tends to be jollier! All the Christmas Songs I like are anyway. But I know not everyone has the same taste. I mean I know people that don’t enjoy or embrace Christmas at all! And I hate it! I couldn’t imagine a life without all the festive spirit. More on my favourite Christmas Songs later this week.

Christmas to me, means coming together with family, friends and loved ones. It’s about coming together so that nobody is left behind. I hate the idea of anyone being alone at Christmas because there are always people that care. I love having my family around me, so much so, I arranged a yearly dinner at my mums so that members of the family could have Christmas Dinner all together on Christmas Eve, so people could be with other families on Christmas Day.

I believe that Father Christmas is real in a sense. I believe that he lives in us as Christmas Spirit. I think that he is what we tell our Children, he is what they base their idea of Christmas on. What some consider a lie. But what I hope Santa teaches Luna is to be open and giving. To remember to give more than you receive. That life isn’t about presents, its about good will. I hope he teaches her that the magic is in what you do for others, that he goes out of his way to make sure everyone feels special one day a year. I think that as people grow up, they lose what Santa means to them. They lose the magical side to ‘reality’. “How does he get to everyone in one night?”, “How does he go down chimneys when he’s a fat old man?” and my personal favourite, “How comes no one has ever seen him?”. Yet, he is everywhere at Christmas. He is the ones that are going above and beyond to make sure they see people smiling. Every time a child sits on Santa’s knee and tells him what they want, a man is giving that child hope and belief that if they are a good person, they will get rewarded. It’s just most of us forget that the reward should be the gratitude from others not money or presents.

Think about those around you, think about their plans for Christmas. Now ask yourself, if you were alone, would you want someone to reach out? If the answer is yes, then do it for others. If you know they have no plans and would be alone, invite them over for a cuppa and a biscuit discussing Christmas songs that were number one when you were a child or the best present you ever received. You know they are going hungry? Think about how much food you are going to waste this year? Why not make extra and take it to a local homeless shelter. It doesn’t cost anything to think of others. And that’s what Santa does every year. That is why I love Christmas.

What does Christmas mean to you? Let me know on Facebook @openupwithmeblog, Instagram @openupwithme.

Thank you for reading and I hope you know a little bit more about me and where my Christmas Spirit comes from. Although I’m not entirely sure. Merry Blogmas Readers🎄⛄️❤️