Categories
Mumma Life!

Luna's 2nd Birthday and Christmas!

Luna was born on the 22nd of December which makes it the most expensive month for two reasons. The first being her birthday which I intend to do something special for her every year and Christmas. Because of how close her birthday is to Christmas, it makes it difficult and complicated to ensure people can find the time to come, which is why I start planning what I want to do about July time. However, as most people know, nothing ever goes to plan.

Her 2nd birthday turned out to be one of the hardest on me emotionally and mentally. When we moved into the new flat, money became extremely tight. There was problems with my housing benefit that took three months to sort out, during which time I had got myself into debt because I couldn’t afford to live and pay rent on the money I was getting and with Kieran moving out, it meant I lost out on even more money. I ended up getting a letter about rent arrears with two weeks to pay before they take me to court, so it got me into a bit of a pickle.

Anyone who is on benefits knows that you can apply for an advanced payment which I usually save for Christmas and her birthday, however I had to use that money to pay off the debts that were building whilst waiting for them to still sort out my housing benefit. It wasn’t until my December payment that it finally got sorted, and although I received my back payment, I used that to pay for Luna’s Christmas presents and pay off some of the debt that had been building. This meant that money became tighter.

I still managed to spend money I didn’t have on throwing an awesome party for my little lady and making her Christmas as special as I could. I wouldn’t change it, I don’t care that it made living for the rest of the month tight, because she got to have such an amazing time at her party and didn’t stop smiling. It sucked that many members of her family couldn’t be there, but it didn’t spoil her day.

There comes a point in being a mum that you must make tough decisions. I made the decision to buy all the presents and put both Kieran and my name on it. As far as she was concerned those presents came from both of her parents and I did this for a few reasons. One, Kieran will be giving me half the money spent on her, when he can go back to work. Two, I hate the idea of having parents compete over who brought the better gifts. That drives me up the wall. Thankfully me and Kieran are amicable enough for Luna’s sake to be mature adults about it. Thirdly, I didn’t want to risk us getting her the same presents as we both know what Luna likes and would have looked for things that she would have enjoyed.

I think being a mum means always thinking you could have done more. And I generally feel like this most of the time, but a lot of that stems from how much I really didn’t do to begin with. But Luna is turning into a beautiful little lady and I am beyond proud of her. She makes me want to do better and for every day that I am alive, I am going to make sure that I give her all my effort. She is the only child I have, and she deserves the world.

Surely, I’m not the only parent out there that wants to give their children the world if money wasn’t an object. Any parents out there do the same? Make sure that their children have everything even if it means going without for a while? Let me know and get in touch. You can find me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or even Email! I would love to hear from you! I hope wherever you, you are the parent your children deserve. And remember, keep smiling.

Categories
Monthly Update!

Happy New Year!

Welcome back to another year of blogging at OpenUpWithMe! I want to thank every single person who visited my blog last year! Over the course of 2019, I had 1819 views from 981 visitors. (Stats taken on the 28th December) From those views, I received 181 likes and 27 comments. This was my best year for my blog, and I couldn’t be more thankful! Its been read in 20+ countries and I’m overwhelmed with the support I have received from each one of you! You make writing for an audience worth it. So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you!

Considering we are now in a new year, I want to do so much more with my blog and for all those that follow it on a regular basis, so I have a few new things going on this month as a trial and if I can stick to it, then I hope to follow it out throughout the year. I have planned a new blog post for every day this month. I hope to get them all out but as you may have realised, I sometimes suck at sticking to plans, so I won’t promise that this will happen, but I certainly want to try my hardest. Now that I have some sort of routine with Luna going to her dads for a few hours every day and one night a week, I am hoping to have my blog posts planned, written and scheduled during these times to maximise my potential.

12 Goals of 2020!

This year, I want to complete more and get more out of my life and try to get myself out of the funk that I seem to have fallen into. I have decided to create 12 goals for the year instead of doing resolutions because as it turns out, I never stick to them, so I don’t even want to try. I have a habit of giving up way too quickly so that idea flew out of the window. However, my goals are broader and there’s less chance of failing. Although there are 12, I’m not planning on getting one completed each month, but I do hope that by the time 2021 comes around, I will have at least completed over half of them.

  1. Complete more of my novel! So, for those of you that don’t know, I have been writing a novel for a few years now. However, due to other commitments and lack of time prioritised to my novel, its still sitting in the writing stage. I won’t say that I will get it completed this year but if I can write a fair amount each month, I will feel better about it. It’s been in the works for too long and I’ve now found inspiration to get it completed. I mean at the moment I only have three or four chapters, but every chapter is planned with a fair amount of detail so it’s just getting my ideas to paper or word documents as the case maybe.
  2. Start Saving! I absolutely suck at saving! I find it physically impossible but after the ending of the last year, I have found that I want to put money aside for little lady’s birthday and Christmas throughout the year, so I don’t end up a charity case again next year. I spent a fair amount of money on her birthday and Christmas without support and ended up skinting myself for the rest of the month. There were other complications that came into play that I should have accounted for, but I didn’t. However, she had the best time and seeing her face at her party and on Christmas day makes it all worth it.
  3. Take Luna out somewhere new once a month! For all of you that have been following my blog closely, I suffered bad with post-natal depression and because of it my relationship with my daughter suffered massively. I want to make it up to her, I want to show her more of the country and do more stuff with her that means she’s not trapped in the flat most of the time. She is the most important person in my life, and I want to create more of a bond with her, filled with memories that can last a lifetime. My mum never had a lot of money, but she took us so many places whilst we were growing up like hiking and going on bike rides and that doesn’t cost a lot of money. Those memories will stay with me for life.
  4. Decorate! Even if I only get one room completed the way I want, its better than the standard white that seems to overrun my poor flat. I want to at least get Luna’s room decorated and spruced up because I think every child should have a colourful room that they can enjoy.
  5. Meet new people! I have made a fair few friends because of my blogging, and those people are there for me without fail whenever I need them. They have seen me through many of my ups and a huge amount of downs. They have made me laugh when I’ve felt like crying and none of them had too. Unfortunately, the closest I’ve come to most of them are facetimes every now and again, or messages via social media. However, I wouldn’t have gotten through last year without them, so I want to make a point of meeting them and thanking them personally, for impacting my life in the way that they did.
  6. Celebrate more! I have a habit of being negative and focusing on the bad for most of my life. This is my reminder to look at the positives more often. I want to celebrate the positives and embrace them a lot more. I want to maximise the amount of positivity that I bring out in others and for that, I need to start with myself.
  7. Do more for charity! I absolutely love doing things for other people. I want to do at least two big fundraising events for this year, one of which will be a walk/marathon. I want to raise money for charities that are close to my heart such as the Meningitis Trust and Children in Need.
  8. Eat better! Its no secret that I have an eating disorder. Its no secret that I have battled with my weight for most of my life. However, I am trying my very hardest to get over my eating disorder. I have managed to put on a few pounds and for me, that’s a massive achievement. I have finally got some meat on me again and my ribs are slowly becoming less obvious. I am trying not to be disgusted every time I step on the scales and notice a gain.
  9. Read one new book a month! I absolutely love reading and I have so many books that I want to read but haven’t got around to them yet. I want to dedicate at least an hour or so into reading them every night once little lady is in bed.
  10. Try one new hobby a month! I want to try new things and try to increase my skill range. I mean I can already play a few instruments, I know how to read music and I love to write but there is so much more that is on offer in the world that I want to broaden my skills and see what other things I might be able to do.
  11. Spend less time glued to my phone! A lot of us spend a fair amount of time on our phones, generally scrolling aimlessly through social media and not really doing anything productive. I want to stop this habit and spend more of my time focusing on the things that matter, like my daughter and my blog. Of course, being a social media addict, I know I will still spend time scrolling for no reason, but hopefully it will be a lot less time than I do now.
  12. Write more letters! I love the idea of getting a written letter. There is nothing that shows more thoughtfulness as well as time and effort as a handwritten letter. I want to focus on finding and maintaining pen pals and bringing back snail mail.

What plans have you got for this year? What are the things that you want to get out of 2020 that you may not have gotten from previous years? Are you like me and can’t stick to resolutions, or have you made some anyway? Let me know either by leaving a comment or getting in touch. Once again, thank you for all your support and for reading what I have to say. As always, you can find me on Facebook, twitter and Instagram or even email me on RariAyliffe@OpenUpWithMe.com. I wish you all a happy new year and remember to keep smiling.