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Today I got triggered…

This post is going to touch the nerves of so many people, but what you should remember is, this is my blog and I am entitled to my opinion, whether you agree with it or not, that’s your choice. I however wont stand for people that want to force their opinions onto others. That is why I decided to write this post rather than to succumbing to the arguments that so many people lack.

Recently, I have seen so many posts about ‘vigilantes’ taking the law into their own hands. I have seen people praise murderers because of who they killed and why they did it. When, did this world become so wrong? When did it become acceptable to murder anyone? It hasn’t.

I am a firm believer of everyone is entitled to their human rights, regardless of who they are and what they have done. I honestly believe that no life is worth more than another. I certainly don’t think my life is more important than that of the homeless on the street or the criminals in prisons. We are all made of skin and bones. We all have blood running through our veins, and all have the ability to be either a good or a bad person. That is our choice as humans. We have the right to do what we want, we should understand that comes with consequences.

The second somebody takes the law into their own hands, they become exactly what they are fighting against. I saw a post about a guy who killed an animal killer, that in turn has made him a murderer. Regardless of why he did it, he felt that the life he took wasn’t worth anything and that is wrong. Anyone who then promotes that behaviour, in turn are promoting violence and murder in the name of ‘karma’. No. That is not karma. That is a person making a choice to take another’s life. Karma would be the dog killer, getting attacked by the very thing he was killing.

Yes, I would agree that the justice system in the UK, is lacking in so many areas, but that doesn’t mean that I am going to go out and right every wrong. That would make me exactly like the people I can’t stand. I can’t stand the level of hypocrisy that I see about this. I have seen people that want to preach about human rights, then turn around and say that murder is acceptable in the name of karma. I have seen people that believe they are the law, get their arses handed to them because they thought they knew better, and I have watched lives be ripped apart because of the actions of these vigilantes.

Taking the dog killer into consideration, he was never punished for his crimes. He was never convicted for his crimes, he was only suspected. Take into consideration how many people are wrongly accused and sent to prison because of a jury that based their decisions on what they could have done rather than the proof. Take into consideration people that spent years in prison to be found wrongly accused and set free. If someone had killed them, they would have killed an innocent person. What about the life of someone who gets sent to death row, killed and then someone confesses to the crimes of an innocent man who died in the name of justice? That is not humane or right. That isn’t fair.

I don’t agree with the choices of murderers or rapists, but that doesn’t mean that I think they shouldn’t have human rights. That would be ridiculous as they are still human. Their extremely poor choices don’t stop them from being a human being, it just stops them from being a decent one. They still deserve the rights of humans.

I studied Law and something that I completely stand by is the ‘Human Rights Act 1998’. The first part of the Human Rights Act talks about the right to life. Article 2, section 1: EVERYONE’s right to life shall be protected by law. Everyone! Not just people that have never committed a crime but also criminals including rapists and murderers. They have the right to have their life protected by law.

I don’t agree with the actions of those that have committed atrocious crimes, but I will stand up for them because they are still human and deserve the right to live. I’m not saying they shouldn’t be punished for their actions, because they really should. But they should be punished by law, regarding law, and not in the name of the law that others want to preach. I will stand up and say that they too have the right to feel safe and secure because they are still human. Nobody knows what made them commit their crimes but there was obviously something. Nobody in this world is born evil, they develop it. So why don’t, instead of saying that they have no right, try and understand what made them tick. Because the power to murder someone is in all of us whether we believe it or not. Most of us would never even consider taking another’s life and I for one wouldn’t either.

I am going to become so hated but I can relate to those that have committed crimes because I have done some questionable shit. I have never taken someone’s life or had sex with someone against their will, but that doesn’t mean I’m not capable of it. We are all the same, it’s just some people make BAD choices. That in turn requires a punishment by law.

Now, before you preach to me about being an activist in human rights, make sure you’re on about all humans and not just the ones that you think are worthy of those rights. I believe that everyone on this planet is equal. Nobody is more important than another and we all have the same rights. I am not about to pick and choose because then I don’t really believe it. You are either completely with Human Rights for everyone or against it. You can’t pick and choose who falls into ‘everyone’.

Thank you for reading. Ferrari❤️

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Goals for 2019!

Well I decided I didn’t want to do New Years resolutions because there isn’t a bad habit I want to break or a lifestyle choice I want to bring in. But there are things I want to do next year. I want to make it bigger and better. So I thought I’d compose a list of the things I want out of next year rather than a list I have no intention to stick too.

This year has been one of my hardest. And I want to take steps to make sure that next year is so much better not only for me but the ones I love dearly.

  • Once a month I want to take my daughter out of this town and do something with her. I want her to know the world is much bigger than what it seems and she has the right to see it all.
  • Once a month, I want to spend a few hours with the guy I love where we aren’t parents just people. I want to spend time remembering why I love him and why we are incredible together and why I will always fight for him.
  • I want to write more! I want to write more here and of my novel. I want to write at least one post a week, maybe more I don’t know. But I definitely want to share more with you guys and grow my blog.
  • I want to smash my target of 1000 visitors. We smashed the 1000 views in a year so I want to get my first visitor target of 1000. Which needs more and better content.
  • I want to finish my novel. It’s kind of taken a back step recently due to mental health issues but I want to get it complete in 2019.
  • I want to read more books next year! Which means I need to buy more books… much to Kieran’s dismay. I want to be lost in more books and complete the 100 books to read before I die. Okay. I won’t do all 100, but I can get at least five done.
  • I want to go to more concerts! I want to see more bands and artists. I’ve got a whole list of people I want to see so I probably should get a start on that.
  • I want to find a job within Marketing. I want to be able to use my creativity day in and out and get paid for it. I want to be able to find a job to make daughters quality of life so much better.
  • I want to take more time with my friends. I feel like this year I’ve been all about being a mum and not really taken time for myself. To see the ones I haven’t seen in ages and spend time with those that I speak to all the time.
  • I want to share a positive thought each and every day to try and bring me out of this think. I want to acknowledge things I couldn’t be without and put those positive thoughts out there to help lighten the darkness.
  • I want to get out of my mothers because I swear this house drives me crazy! As much as I love my family, I can’t stand the fact that I had to give up a two bed house to come back to a room.
  • Mentally, I want to be in a better place next year. I want to be able to have more positive than negative thoughts. I want to live life more and not be in fear of my mind, or my anxiety. I want to be in control.

I want my life back in my hands. And I’m determined to bring myself back to a sane level. A level where I’m not constantly down or depressed. Where I’m not hiding behind a fake smile. I want to be able to get through the day without breaking down. I want to be able to feel strong again.

I may not be okay at the moment. But next year is a new year. It’s full of endless possibilities. It has so much potential. And I want to get as much out as possible. I want this year to be Luna’s best yet. And that all starts with positive thinking. I am positive that next year, things will end better than this.

Next year will be more for me. I will stand up for myself and put my family first. I’ll stay away from those that have brought me down and appreciate those that have picked me up. Next year may not be easy, but I will end it in a better place. So come on 2019. It may just be another year, but let’s try and make sure it’s a brighter one.

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Don’t be afraid to be who you are.

Long before I found out that I was pregnant, I wanted to be a person that my siblings and nieces could look up to. I know there are times where I have failed miserably and sometimes, I lose it way too quickly but one thing they can say is, that I stand up for my views and what I believe in. I may just be one person, but I believe that my voice matters. Everyone’s voice matters!

When I started this blog, I wanted a space to share my views and my beliefs without feeling like I was ramming them down people’s throats. I gave myself the space to write what I want and how I feel and if people wanted to read it, it would be down to them. I wanted to cover a range of topics, no matter how personal or controversial they would be. Now, I know, not everyone will agree with what I’m saying and loads of people with have their own opinions which is great. I want to provoke healthy discussion on issues.

A few weeks ago, me and my partner were walking to the shops just down the road, we were talking, and he realised that I was wearing all his clothes. It’s true. I had my bra and underwear on, but I also had his boxers over the top, his joggers, his top and jumper on. I have always found that men’s clothes are better comfort wise compared to women. It got me thinking, why is it socially acceptable for females to cross-dress and wear men’s clothes but not the other way around? Why is it that many people of the world have such a problem with men wearing women’s clothes but not vice versa? Why is it that the world we see today, the world in which our children are growing up in, so hypocritical? Why are there such views around what we wear? It’s not just men that receive this but women also.

Some men are taught from a young age that its not acceptable to wear women’s clothes, they are taught that it’s feminine and that it means that they are gay or have gay tendencies. This isn’t true. You can be completely straight and still wearing a dress. I have friends that have dressed up with their daughters because they asked them to. I have friends that let their sons wear fairy wings and put on a dress. They wanted their children to be comfortable and wouldn’t knock them for trying.

Some of them said there wasn’t a problem whilst they were playing, but they would find it awkward in other situations and that’s where their problem was, whilst others have said there wasn’t a problem with them, but they would avoid it as it was a problem for the outside world. Some people felt that by saying no, they would be putting issues onto the child and others felt that saying what they can or can’t do will only push them further into it.

Now for me, I want my daughter to be open and accepting. I want her to be who she wants without fear of discrimination and without fear of others. I want her to wear what she wants, be who she wants to be and love whoever she feels she has a connection with. I want her to be able to go out in what she wants with her head held high and pride in who she is. Had she been a boy, I would be the same. If I ever have a son, and he said to me that he wanted a pram, I’d go down the shops and buy him one for his birthday or Christmas, because he shouldn’t have to feel like it’s a girl’s toy. I know many men push their children in prams and that is all you are setting them up for. If he wanted to go out to the shops or to play in a princess dress and pretend, he’s a princess, then guess what, I will help get him dressed and I will sit him down. I will explain that although there is nothing wrong in how he wants to dress or what he wants to play with, the world has their own opinions and may think it’s wrong. I’d tell him that people would point and stare with possible comments because he was different, and they couldn’t accept that.

I think children need an imagination. They need to believe in magic and make believe because it helps them broaden their minds. It helps them become more creative and more unique. It helps develop writers and poets, acting and theatre stars, it helps them become musicians and activists. It helps create a brighter world. The world gets gloomier as you grow older, so let a child be a child. Let them live with no fear of the outside world, they will grow up and have enough of it. The world will have rules for them that will attempt to limit who they are and what they can do. So just let them live while they are young. Let them play with what they want to play and wear what they want to wear.

I do not have a problem with allowing children and people to be who they want to be. But the world we live in does. I have been alive 25 years, and its only recently that a gay couple, whether it be men or women, are finally allowed to marry each other. That’s horrendous. Why as a society do, we feel that we can dictate who we can or can’t love just because it’s not traditional? Why is it, as a society, we feel that its okay to victimise people because they are different? Why, as a society, do we think it’s okay to belittle people because they are different?

I know many people feel differently, and I get that. It is okay to think differently. We are all individuals and are all unique. Even identical twins have different fingerprints. Each person on this planet matters. If they want to dress different, why do we feel that we are worth more and can tell them differently? We are all made up on skin and bones. We all will live in this world and wear clothes. We will all have different views, and nobody can tell you that you are wrong. Just don’t be hypocritical. That is where my problem lies.

When I wrote this, I wanted to have some research behind me. I looked at celebrities that have cross-dressed and they are still respected. Celebrities like the entire band Queen, who did the I Want to Break Free video in drag. They are one of the greatest rock bands this world has ever seen and yet, that video caused so much controversy at the time, where as now is considered iconic. Weasley Snipes, Patrick Swayze, John Leguizamo who dressed up in drag for a role in a film and yet they are still great actors and it hasn’t changed who they are. The film in question is ‘To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar’, check it out on IMDB if you believe me. Another iconic film with drag, is Rocky Horror Picture Show. That film is incredible but also banned in some countries. They are all living and breathing. Wearing a dress didn’t change who they are. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114682/

I know for me, I will allow my daughter to be who she wants. I will hold her hand and show her off with pride. Because I want her to know that she is who she is, and we love her regardless. I just wish the world was a bit more accepting. I’d rather surround myself with people that express themselves freely than try to determine who they should be.

 ❤️

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Sorry it’s late 😘

So this is a quick update post. I am so incredibly sorry that it’s taken a bit longer to write this week. I would love to say it’s because so much has gone on but that would be a lie.

As you know, I have Addison’s disease which means when I get sick, I get very sick. I’ve spent the last week recovering from an infection and have been sleeping way more than usual. I’ll try to post more in future but I’ll definitely be keeping the weekly theme. And if I get more inspiration during that week to write more, then I will share it with you.

I also have to get back to writing my novel. I failed at my first checkpoint which means I’ve gotta write twice as much this month. But more on that as it comes.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. It truly means a lot. To think that my blog has hit the 300 views milestone, truly is an achievement. Thank you to everyone who has contributed. ❤️

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I finally did it!

So for months I have been saying that I want to start a blog to help me make sense of my own mind but also so I can share my experiences with others. If I can help one person, then I know that I have achieved something in this life. 

I want this blog to be the start to free expression. The start to write how I feel and things that affect me without the need to hide what I write. After all, if you have come here to read anything of what I’ve posted, you’ve done it of your own free will. If you then proceed to produce any kind of negativity about real struggles that people go through in their life then that says more about who you are as a person than it does me and I have a tip for you. Up in the corner there is an x, click it and take your negativity elsewhere :*.

So for all of you that stayed, thank you. There are gonna be some things that get posted that will take a lot but the truth is one of my fears is to be open and in order to overcome my fear, I need to face it. I mean I can list so many times where I knew I needed to open up and didn’t because I was scared of how they would take it, how they would feel and what they would say in retaliation. I am very much a people pleaser, I always try to make sure everyone else is okay, even at times when I  know I should be focusing on myself. 

Contrary to popular belief (for those that know me that is) I don’t actually like hurting people. I don’t like saying things that I know will hurt. I have a horrible habit of shutting people out when I feel like I’m going to get hurt, I push people out the door because I am so scared of people walking out on me so I do it before they get the chance. That is how I self destruct. I am hoping by opening up I can limit the amount of damage and destruction I produce. 

On the upside, I will also focus on the things that make me smile and things that motivate me to be a better person. Things that I know I am truly blessed to either have or have experienced and memories that I never want to forget. There are people who I’ve met that have changed my life in ways I don’t even think they realise and others that made me realise how much i undervalue myself.

Everybody has a support network and pushing them away doesn’t help anyone. But to the ones that are still with me… Thank you ❤