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A break up…

Break ups happen all the time, whether they break up amicably or resentfully, they still decided to call it a day on their relationship. They decided to end the trying and call it quits. It’s a horrible thing to go through most of the time but sometimes, you know it’s just not working. Sometimes relationships aren’t meant to last, no matter how much you want them too.

Recently, I went through a breakup with someone who many people didn’t like, but to me, that didn’t matter. They weren’t the ones dating him, and even though there were some really low points, the highs were bloody amazing. I got really lucky to create such great memories with a guy I will always treasure. I got to spend time and get to know someone who has a history of being closed off, and it doesn’t matter how long or short we dated, I feel really lucky to have been let in to his heart, because once you get in there, his a different person.

I can’t count how many times I’ve cried, I can’t pretend to be okay about it. I have good moments during the day where I briefly forget about the truth of the situation, then something small would trigger every emotion I’ve tried to hide. I woke up this morning, and for a brief second, I looked at my phone like I had countless times before, and went to message you. Only to realise that we aren’t together, we don’t talk and that really sucks.

It hurts when you love someone as much as you possibly can, but it’s just not enough. For whatever reason, it’s just not working and you have two choices, to try and find a way to make it work or to just give up and walk away. It’s hard enough to love someone knowing that you just make them unhappy. It’s hard knowing no matter how much you try, you will never be enough for them, so in order for them to find what they need, they leave.

I wish I could just switch off how I felt. I wish I could just pretend that I’m okay, when in truth, I keep crying. Just thinking about them, leaves me in tears wishing that I could erase my memory. It sucks because all I think is what I could have done to make them happy, if I could have made anything better but that’s not the way I should be thinking.

Its hard enough to love someone you can’t have, but its even harder to know that even though you tried, you weren’t enough. It is hard to know that love couldn’t conquer the world, that even though you wanted to get through everything with that person, it just wasn’t enough. Love is one of the most powerful feelings in the world, its the love of ourselves that we make sure we are happy, the love of others that makes us want to keep in touch and be there in the time of need, and the love of our hobbies that make us want to keep doing them. However there is no cure when that love disappears and all you’re left with is heartache.

Right now, my heart aches. My mind is working overtime. All I want is to be in his arms, to look him in the eyes and tell him I love him more than words could express. That I would have gone through hell and back with him by my side, but it hurts knowing that it wasn’t enough. It hurts knowing I wont be seeing his smile or kissing his lips. It hurts knowing that the only choice I have, is to let go and move on… I just never thought it would happen.

I love you. I have for a while and I probably will for a while still. That everywhere I look, I’m surrounded by our memories and hints of you. I am sorry that I wasn’t what you needed and even more than I just made you worse. But still, I love you. I love you on your darkest days, on the days your angry and just need to vent and even when you have a smile that could turn heads. I just hope that even though we may be over, that our story has ended and our future is no longer together, that you can find happiness in things without turning on the negatives. I hope that you laugh more than you cry and live more than you have been. But know that not one second do I regret of us, not one moment makes me wish we never started and not one day has gone by where you haven’t been the most important guy on my mind.

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A-Z of my favourite movies!

I was thinking about posts that I could do every month, to give my readers something to look forward to, so I started googling blog ideas for women and I came across one that said why not do an ABC list of certain topics and I honestly loved this idea. My next step was picking a good topic that would help you readers get to know me a little bit but still making it interesting, so I thought, lets start with films. After all, it could give you some ideas on films to watch during this quarantine period. I haven’t included any Disney Films as that has its own list coming out tomorrow, so be sure to check back.

A – A Little Princess (1995); This is probably my favourite film of all time. If you’ve been following my blog for the last few years, you would know as I’ve mentioned this before but it’s a film about a little girl who ends up being a servant at an all-girls boarding school because her father is lost at war. If you haven’t seen this film, I would strongly recommend it.

B – Blended (2014); I am a massive Adam Sandler fan! I also absolutely love Drew Barrymore… You will see that both these two and they will appear a few times on this list. Adam Sandler has always been one of my favourite comedians and if it wasn’t blended, it would be Billy Madison, again, another Adam Sandler film. This is everything you would expect from this pairing, it’s a true rom com and I absolutely love the Sandler’s onscreen youngest daughter. She makes this film a ten in my opinion.

C – Clueless (1995); This is a typical chick flick. If you have seen the music video for Izzy Azalea – Fancy, you will see that parts of her video are based on this film. It’s about a girl who goes through high school and experiences different challenges like getting her licence and living up to parents’ standards. It’s based on the book Emma by Jane Austen.

D – Drop Dead Gorgeous (1999); This is a film I don’t believe many have seen. It stars Kirsten Dunst who is a girl who enters a beauty pageant, where contestants died in the process. It has trailer parks, drunks and murder all in one. It also shines a light on how serious people take these pageants in the US. You should watch it purely for comedic value!

E – Ever After (1998); This is an adaptation of Cinderella, one that interprets the story set by the Brothers Grimm. However, it tells the story of a girl called Danielle (played by Drew Barrymore), who captures the heart of the French prince in about the 16th century. I love this version of Cinderella more than any other and would strongly recommend.

F – Fast and Furious (Any except Tokyo Drift); I have nothing against Tokyo Drift, however if I had to list them starting with my favourites, that one would be at the bottom every time. I don’t know if it’s because it doesn’t have Vin Diesel in it or because there is no Paul Walker, but I don’t like it. However, the series in general, is one of my favourites. I love the fast cars and the action within the films. My favourite line of any of the films, is said by Dame Helen Mirren in the Fate of the Furious, and that’s when she refers to God’s Eye as the devils bumhole. Its brilliant!

G – Green Street (2005); I have seen this film so many times and it doesn’t matter how many times I watch it, the ending with Petey gets me every time! I’m not a massive fan of Elijah Wood, but I seriously love this film purely for Charlie Hunham. Not only is he appealing to look at, but he makes me fall for a hooligan every time I watch it. Curse you Hunham! It’s a film about football hooliganism and worth a watch.

H – Harry Potter (Any); This goes without saying but I am going to say it anyway, of course Harry Potter made my list. I’m crazy about the films and no doubt, if I do a book version of this list, it will probably make that too. I love these films; I love anything with magic and I personally believe that there isn’t a person alive who doesn’t know who Harry Potter is!

I – Inside man (2006); This is the first of a few action films on my list. It’s all about how they perform the perfect bank heist. I think this is a great film because it has a twist at the end. I mean every person performing the heist, get away with it and there is no death, which is always a plus. I would recommend watching it if you’re into action films.

J – Just Go with It (2011); The second Adam Sandler film, only this time it’s alongside Jennifer Aniston. The whole plot centres around a lie that Sandler says on a regular basis, and Aniston’s character must go along with it, and as typical Rom Com fashion, she ends up falling in love with him. To be honest, I think she always had a soft spot for him in the movie.

K – Kingsman The Secret Service (2014); How can anyone not love this film? It’s got Taron Egerton in it and it’s a film about spies! And not just any spies, gentleman spies. If you haven’t seen this film, I would strongly recommend because I think Egerton plays an amazing chav who wouldn’t harm a dog but would love to pop a cap in the bad guys.

L – Legally Blonde (2001); I have seen this film a thousand and one times! It was a big part in why I wanted to go off to university and study law. I mean there were other reasons, but I believed that if Elle Woods could pull it off, so could I. Turns out I wasn’t meant to be a lawyer, but she was! Plus, she gets to be a strong independent woman who gets to kick ass in a pink suit. That is a film that Luna will be watching when she is older.

M – Me Before You (2016); This film has made me cry every time I have watched the film and even so when I read the book. It’s a touching story about trying to give someone faith who lost all hope in a brighter future. I can’t write too much without spoiling it, but its honestly worth watching, just remember to have the tissues near by because it really is a tearjerker.

N – Never Been Kissed (1999); Yet another Drew Barrymore film, and one that I have loved since it first came out, and not only because it’s got her in it. It is about a girl who goes back to high school as an undercover journalist and tries to find the scoop. She also falls for her teacher. Tut tut! However, it stays true to 90’s chick flicks and I will forever watch this film.

O – Oscar (1991); This is probably one of the only films that is older than I am. The whole premise of this film is about a guy who promises his dying father that he will no longer be a crook and tries his hardest to keep that promise, despite getting tested at every corner. P.S, the character ‘Oscar’ is only on screen for about 30 seconds.

P – Peter Pan (2003); I LOVE Peter Pan, and no this isn’t the cartoon version. It’s the live action film with Jeremy Sumpter. It’s by far my favourite Peter Pan film although I do love the Tinkerbell series. It’s got action, pirates and of course Pan turns pink after receiving a thimble… I guess you could say that “I do believe in fairies, I do, I do.”

Q – The Queen (2006); Dame Helen Mirren is an actual star and I love per portrayal of our Queen in such a marvellous way. Not only does she have the right mannerisms and looks very similar, but she’s also the only person I could ever see playing the Queen, although others have done it since.

R – Raising Helen (2004); Raising Helen is a film starring Kate Hudson and is all about raising her sister’s children after they die in an accident. Helen doesn’t believe she’s the right pick as her sister already has children and would have made a better parental figure, however their deceased sister didn’t agree. You get to watch Hudson grow as she learns to raise three children, one of which is a teenage girl.

S – Snatch (2000); If you haven’t seen this film, I suggest you close whatever you’re reading this on and go and watch it! It’s a typical British film all about a diamond and it stars Jason Statham, what could be better? It’s got bare knuckle boxing, Irish accents and Vinnie Jones. It’s such a classic film, that I really don’t want to say much without spoiling it but go and watch it now! You won’t regret it!

T – Time Travellers Wife (2009); This film has time travel, love and a sad ending. What more can you want from a romance film? A guy can jump back and forth between time and ends up meeting his future wife when she’s a child… I know how creepy! However, it’s a good film, and worth watching if you’re into a bit of romantic sci-fi.

U – Up (2009); The only Disney film to make it onto this list because I couldn’t think of another beginning with U. Not going to lie. It’s a sweet film about an old guy who just wants to go on an adventure, he also makes his house fly with a lot of balloons. Plus, it has talking dogs and who doesn’t love it when dogs chase squirrels?

V – Vantage Point (2008); Vantage point is an action film taken from many different points of view, giving you a bit more information each time as to who is behind the attempted assassination of the president. It’s interesting, and if you pay attention, you’ll have it figured out sooner than you think. After all, so many lives are connected by one event, and it’s interesting to see how they all play their part in the aftermath of the event.

W – Waterboy (1998); The last Adam Sandler film on my list! I love this film because its all about how a waterboy(man) manages to work his way onto the team by being one hell of a tackler. However, I think the mum played by Kathy Bates is what makes this film special to me.  Any scene with her in, has me in stitches.

X – xXx (2002); It’s Vin Diesel… do I need to say more? It’s an action film with someone who has a problem with authority. I’m pretty sure it’s the first scene with Vin in it that sees him blow up a car in a stunt in order to make a point. If that doesn’t catch your attention, then I don’t know what will.

Y – Yours, Mine and Ours (2005); This film has one of my favourite quotes in it, “homes are for free expressions, not first impressions” and with a family that big, I’m not surprised. Eighteen children, two adults and a whole lot of shenanigans is what is in store if you decide to watch this film. However, it is cute how the families finally blend by the end of the film and work on getting the parents back together after breaking them in the first place.

Z – Zoolander (2001); Of course, I ended on this film! It’s hysterical! Ben Stiller is comedic gold and I think he plays a dumb model very well. The whole movie is a joke, from start to finish but it will have your sides splitting most of the way through. Plus, you have Will Ferrell playing a bad guy… I mean say what?

Well thank you for taking the time to read my A-Z of my favourite films and can I say that finding films that I love for each letter was harder than you think. I had letters that had four or five options whilst others had one, however, I really enjoyed sharing a part of my movie taste with you guys. Do you have any films that you think I left out? What are some of your favourite movies? Let me know by either leaving a comment below, finding me on Facebook, twitter or Instagram and get in touch. I’d love to hear from you. I hope wherever you are in the world, that you’re keeping safe and healthy and as always, don’t lose your smile.

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Sexual Assault Awareness Month!

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_Assault_Awareness_Month

So, April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month and I thought it would be a topic worth discussing on my blog. Sexual Assault is a horrible thing to go through and no person alive should have to go through it.

A description of sexual assault found on the Met website goes by this “The overall definition of sexual or indecent assault is an act of physical, psychological and emotional violation in the form of a sexual act, inflicted on someone without their consent. It can involve forcing or manipulating someone to witness or participate in any sexual acts.

Not all cases of sexual assault involve violence, cause physical injury or leave visible marks. Sexual assault can cause severe distress, emotional harm and injuries which can’t be seen – all of which can take a long time to recover from. This is why we use the term ‘assault’ and treat reports just as seriously as those of violent, physical attacks.” [1]

At the age of 13, I engaged in a sexual relationship with an 18-year-old. This was not a typical relationship and should never have happened. However, it did, and I can’t go back in time and change what happened. Although, I technically gave consent, I was still underage, and it’s considered as Statutory Rape within the UK. He used many different phrases and techniques in order to keep me “under his spell” and now thinking about him makes me feel physically sick. I didn’t know back then but he was purely using me for sex and as a toy. He didn’t care about my feelings and wouldn’t have cared the emotional distress that he put in for years afterwards.

And then fast forward to the 1st of August, I had to endure being held down and strangled whilst my then boyfriend had sex with me. He woke me up and didn’t care that I didn’t want it, he continued. He held me down and strangled me until I lost consciousness and I don’t remember much. It was supposed to be a romantic night of us sleeping under the stars in a tent, however that romantic night turned sour and it was the start of what would be a reoccurring problem. I wish I could say that it only happened once, when he was going through a tough time, but the truth was, it wasn’t. It happened repeatedly and I had no one to talk to.

I’m not telling you this to get said people into trouble, hence why no names have taken place. I am writing to tell you that these attacks have made me the person that I am today. There are nights where I wake up in a jolt because of nightmares. There are days where I have paranoia that they are going to come back and destroy me a little bit more, but the truth is, I know they will never get close enough to hurt me. I may have PTSD because of some negative people but that doesn’t define me. They made their choices, and I swear I will not let their choices define who I am or where I go in life.

I want everyone who has ever had someone touch them without their consent, to those that have had to endure a person force their advances without their consent, you are fighters and their actions aren’t because of who you are! You are not responsible for them or their actions. You did not deserve their actions and you are stronger than they can ever be. You may not feel it right away, but you will get passed it. It may take therapy, it may take a tonne of drugs and bad choices, but you will beat their actions because you have it in you.

I know that for the longest time I believed that I deserved it. That I was responsible for the things that happened to me. I thought that if I had been a better person, it wouldn’t have happened. But that simply is not true. I never asked for them to do what they did. And after it happened, I felt that I couldn’t talk to anyone about it because of shame or belief that they wouldn’t believe me. I had to live in fear that they would come back and harm me again. I had to have their images repeated in my brain for years because I didn’t open up to anyone. That probably did more harm than good because in stead of facing those demons that they left behind, I hid from them. I found ways to escape. I believed the lies that it was all my fault and that no one would ever care because I had become damaged goods. I have scars left behind from their touch, but those scars are now a reminder. A reminder that I am stronger than ever because they will never reach me again.

So many people don’t come forward when it comes to sexual abuse for so many reasons. They could have been drinking or taking drugs, they could know the person responsible, they may be living in fear but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t come forward. I know I never did because I was scared of wrecking someone’s life like the way they wrecked mine. I was scared that I would be ignored or told that I was making it up. I was scared for the families that I knew personally and how they would react. I feared being judged by people that had no clue, but honestly, a part of me wishes I had come forward so many times.

Now, to the people that have committed these acts, why? Why did you feel the need to damage someone mentally and physically because you couldn’t take no as an answer? Why did you feel that your needs were more important that theirs? How would you feel if your sister or aunts or daughters had to go through the atrocious acts that you put on others? Why can’t you keep your hands to yourself and act on reciprocation and consent? You are wrecking more than your own life by not keeping your hands and actions clean.

I want all my followers to know that there are many people you can talk to about being abused. Police and therapists are the key people, because they can help you get justice for yourself. But also, you can reach out to me. I will always be available to listen without judgement and without fear of it going any further. I also want you all to think about your actions. Don’t do anything against someone’s will and just don’t be a dick. If anyone wants to reach me, you can get in touch via my Facebook page, twitter or Instagram. I will always answer. I hope the future sees a decrease in sexual assaults because no person on this planet deserves that kind of torment. I hope wherever you are in the world, you’re keeping healthy and isolating. And as always, keep smiling, even when it hurts.


[1] https://www.met.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/rsa/rape-and-sexual-assault/what-is-rape-and-sexual-assault/

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Quotes I love!

Right now, with the world being such an uncertain place, I thought I’d share with you some quotes that I absolutely love. All these quotes mean a lot to me and have helped me out in ways I can’t express. Some of them have come from films and others are things people have said that have stuck with me. I will try my hardest to find the original person to say the quote where possible but if I can’t, I’ll write where I heard it or found it.

Harry Potter Quotes

I love Harry Potter so much, that there are quite a few quotes from either the books or films that I embrace as much as I can.

Wit beyond measure is mans greatest treasure. – Luna Lovegood; Okay, so this quote is part of the reason my daughter is called Luna… Maybe that’s a lie, she’s called Luna because I love the character and what she stands for. In a world that tries to make us all ‘normal’, she embraces her quirkiness and stands out in a crowd. And if Luna can have even a small part of that, then I know no one will be able to tell her who to be. The quote itself is said by Rowena Ravenclaw and are the words for her house, but you hear them from Luna. This quote is about knowing your mind, because your intelligence is greatly valued in the world. Our brains are the greatest thing we have in our lives, they control our thinking and our actions. Without them, we would be robots who do what we are told. I refuse to let my brain down. So much goes on up there that I always try to get things written down and follow inspiration wherever it takes me.

Happiness can be found in the darkest of places if one only remembers to turn on the light. – Albus Dumbledore; Now this is a quote that I wanted on my wall around my light switch for a few reasons. I’m scared of the dark, not only the physical darkness but also the darkness that seems to control my mind, and this quote was my reminder that I can happiness, if I remember where to look. For example, Luna is a light switch. Every time I see her, I can’t help but remember that she is the brightest star in my night and will always keep me alive even when I feel at my weakest. We are in control of our happiness, so when we feel like we can’t go on, we just need to remember the things that brightened up our days beforehand.

The world isn’t split into good people and Death Eaters. We’ve all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are. – Sirius Black; In a world that seems obsessed with documenting murders and rapists on every social outlet, its not all the world is. Not every person on this planet is bad, its just some of them made poor choices. We all can be either a good or bad person. We all have the power to be the nicest person we are capable of or be the meanest prick out there and that all comes from the choices we make. Sometimes we make bad choices, but that doesn’t make us bad people. If we continue to make bad choices and only bad choices, then we have chosen a path of darkness.

I tried to limit the number of quotes I used from Harry Potter because I could be here for days. Here are some other quotes that I absolutely love.

True wisdom comes to each of us when we realise how little we understand about life, ourselves and the world around us. – Socrates; I love this quote because it keeps me grounded. Life is full of unanswered questions and things that we just don’t understand. We aren’t meant to know all the answers, we are just meant to learn about our journeys and the things that impact it. Every day we are learning more about the people we are and the people we want to be, that’s why we change so much over the years. That doesn’t mean we should stop learning.

She feels more than you. You have to understand that about her. She feels the edge and the details of things and when she gets close to someone, she feels their happiness and pain. – JM Storm; This is just one of the quotes about Borderline Personality Disorder that I absolutely love. It explains a fraction of what is like to live in my brain. Our emotions are on a grander range than the average person. We feel so much more and sometimes it’s without reason. Our brains can be a scary place, but a little understanding can go a long way.

I couldn’t trust my own emotions. Which emotional reactions were justified, if any, and which ones were tainted by the mental illness of BPD? I found myself guarding and limiting my reactions, chastising myself for possible distortions and motivations. – Rachel Reiland; So, this is another quote about BPD, and again explains a little bit more. When it comes to most situations, I have a hard job trying to work out if I’m just overreacting or if my reaction is justified. Sometimes I feel like my feelings are a complete rationalisation of how I’m feeling but then others I feel like I can’t control it even though sometimes I really wish I could.

All you need is faith, trust and a little pixie dust. – Peter Pan; I absolutely love Peter Pan; it’s my favourite collection of stories and it was inevitable that I was going to use this one. I think in a world that has endless possibilities, why is it so hard to believe in fairies? Magic comes in many forms and this quote takes me back to my childhood where things were simpler, but imagination was on a bigger stage. It’s about having faith in something that seems impossible and trusting that it will happen and of course pixie dust and good thoughts if you want to fly.

Do not pray for an easy life; pray for the strength to endure a difficult one. – Bruce Lee; It’s no secret that I have had many things happen in my life, that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemies but that has made me a stronger person. There were days that I thought I would never get through, and yet here I am surviving and pushing forward, even when times are difficult. I would never want an easy life because I wouldn’t have learnt the things that I have, but I have certainly found the inner strength to get through those tough moments.

Strength doesn’t come from what you can’t do. It comes from overcoming things you once thought you couldn’t. – Rikki Rogers; There are many things in this life that we thought were impossible. There are many times in my life, that I thought I couldn’t do something. I mean I never thought id be a mother, there were days where I thought I would just want to give up, yet every time that I haven’t given up, I’ve found the strength to continue even though deep down, I didn’t think I would make it through it. Everyone has more strength in them than they realise, it just takes difficult situations for you to realise that you have the power to be stronger than you ever thought.

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? – George Carlin; My last quote is a question because it really got me thinking. If you try to fail but manage to succeed then although you failed, you succeeded at doing what you thought you couldn’t. But you could also look at it as in, if you’re trying to fail and succeed at failing, then you haven’t failed because you succeeded at doing what you wanted. What do you think?

What are some of your favourite quotes? They don’t have to be from films or songs but could also be things that someone has said that has stuck with you. Let me know by getting in touch, either leaving a comment below, through Facebook, Twitter or even Instagram. Thank you for taking the time to read my latest post, I truly appreciate it. I hope wherever you are in the world, that you’re staying safe and healthy and don’t lose your reason for smiling.

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Quarantine; bored yet?

Is it me or does it feel like we’ve been stuck in quarantine for what seems like an eternity? I mean I completely understand why the limits are in place, but that doesn’t exactly mean that this is the most interesting my life has ever been. Its been a week and a half and I already feel like I am going to do something crazy.

There are only so many times you can clean the same four walls before you start making dirt just to clean it up afterwards. I should be embracing being stuck indoors 24/7 but the truth is, I’m just not. The simple things that would be a comfort right now are out the window. I get bored way too easily and feel like I have done everything possible. I really haven’t, I have plenty of books left to read for starters. However, it just feels like there is no end in sight.

I have been thinking about trying out a new skill. I mean I can already cook, but I was thinking about enhancing my baking skill… It’s been a while since I last baked anything, so it will probably turn out to be a disaster, but that’s the whole point about trying to improve on a new skill, right? You won’t get better if you don’t try. So, if I do, I will keep you updated on how badly it goes. I say badly because I don’t believe it’s going to go very well at all!

I have spent a lot of time looking out my balcony window and found that there are way too many people not sticking to the quarantine. On Thursday, there were about 20 people standing around the bus station, waiting to get on a bus and not one of them were 2ft away from the nearest person. They were all huddled in a bunch. I mean WHY would you use a bus. That’s like the quickest way to spread germs because you cannot stick to the 2ft away from people. But hey, what do I know? I’m not medically trained.

The only good thing I’ve found about being stuck in quarantine, is there is a lot more time to work on my blog and publishing posts. I mean it would help if my inspiration responded to the amount of free time I now seem to have. But apparently that isn’t the case. I can’t really see my family or my friends, Luna has more of a social life than I do, considering as she’s spending time here and with her dad still. But me, I’m stuck looking at buildings or buses, or watching tv. I am getting that sick and tired of quarantine, that I got jealous of my sims being able to free roam their world with no worry about getting seriously ill and dying. How sad!

What has everyone else been doing since we’re stuck in quarantine? Is anyone else finding it difficult and totally boring? Have you learned any new skills? Let me know by getting in touch on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. I hope whatever you are doing, you’re keeping safe and healthy during these uncertain times. Take care of yourselves and make sure that you check in on people that are probably feeling lonely right now. And no matter what you do, don’t lose your smile.

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10 Songs I Can’t Stop Listening To Right Now!

If you’re a regular reader of my blog, you will know that music is a massive part of my life. I love it! Considering the world is currently on lockdown and fearing for our health, I thought I would write a list of my 10 favourite songs that I cannot stop playing at the moment.

I’m Still Standing – Taron Egerton; I recently watched Rocketman and fell in love with Taron Egerton’s performance. He honestly does such a wonderful job; however, this wasn’t the first time I loved his performance of this song. Luna absolutely loves Sing so I have seen it more times than I can possibly count, and he also sings this song in that. Both renditions have similarities, but they are also quite different, but both equally amazing. I think the lyrics are incredible, with all the credit going to Elton John and Bernie Taupin. And considering the world right now, I think we should all take pride in the fact that we are all still standing during this pandemic.

One Call Away – Charlie Puth; I brought this album when it first came out and its only been recently that I have downloaded it via Apple Music. I absolutely love this song. I could listen to it so much! I love the lyrics, and how it talks about always being there for the person you love even though things may get in between. I think it’s a great song right now considering many of us can’t be with the people we love as they’re stuck in different places and we aren’t allowed to leave the house.

Take Me Back to London – Ed Sheeran Feat. Stormzy; I love this song because the beat gets stuck in my head. I find it there hours after I last listened to it. Plus, the song is just so upbeat that I want to get up and dance, and find myself swaying to it when I’ve got my headphones in. Usually the sound is turned right up and I’m having a mini rave in my own head.

River – Eminem Feat. Ed Sheeran; So, it wouldn’t be me without an Eminem song on here somewhere! It just so happens to be yet another song with Ed. Now I love this song for so many reasons. Not only because I love both Ed and Eminem, but also because I was fortunate enough to see them perform this song at Twickenham a few years ago. It’s not so much about the lyrics, its more about the combination of two beautiful voices.

Heaven – Warrant; With lyrics like “As long as I’m the hero of this little girl” and “As long as you will always be my biggest fan”, why wouldn’t I love this song? It speaks to me and reminds me of Luna. I always want to make her proud and try to put her ahead of everything I do in life. She is the only person that I feel like I owe something to. I hear those two lines and I remember that without her, I wouldn’t have the purpose that I do now. She completed me and now it’s time that I make sure she can look up to me when she’s older.

Hold My Girl – George Ezra; This song is mine and Luna’s first ever song! I used to sing it to her when she was a tiny baby, and she would always fall asleep on me and I think that’s so cute considering the lyrics are, “pick a place to rest your head”. I will always be there to hold her during her darkest moments. I will always give her time and love; I will always be her strength and she will always be my girl. She is by far, my biggest inspiration. Although I need more than a minute because she is my world and I always want to wrap my arms around her. Even at night when she’s refusing to sleep and I have to lay with her and rest my arm over her, only to have her grab my hand and pull it closer.

The Light – Disturbed; I have had this song on my playlist for well over a year. It’s still my go to song whenever I feel like I’m sinking too far. Honestly, go and take some time to listen to the lyrics. I found they spoke to me in a way many songs have failed. To me, this song is about not giving up. That even during your darkest times, you will find the light. It talks about not finding answers in the places you seem to think you will, but not to give up hope. I absolutely love this song and that’s why it still has a place in my top ten.

Woman Like Me – Little Mix Feat. Nicki Minaj; People always tell me that I am a handful, that I’m high maintenance and that I have my own mind, so this song reminds me of myself. I think the chorus is just me wondering if I’m “too much”, although for the right person, you will never be too much and its always worth the effort. Although, I can honestly say this is one of the only songs that I like with Nicki, but I am a massive Little Mix fan, and there are quite a few of their songs that are on my most played, I chose this one because it reminds me that I am on a whole different level and sometimes, I am hard work but I am still worthy of being loved.

People Like Us – Kelly Clarkson; This song is one of my absolute favourites! It talks about how everyone gets down in the dumps and nobody feels like they fit in, but we’re all that way in some way, shape or form. It focuses on picking yourself up, but also picking others up when they feel the way you do. So many of us can relate to feeling like they don’t matter, that their life is sunken and broken but that doesn’t mean we should allow others to feel like this. In my opinion, it’s a song about unity.

Lost in the Woods – Jonathon Groff; I’m a sucker for a soundtrack, and my final song is just that. It’s a ballad from Frozen 2, and I have been listening to it ever since I took my big brother to go see it. (He is autistic, and nobody else wanted to sit through the film. Luna made me watch Frozen a million times, so I didn’t mind being the only one that wanted to take him. And for the record, he loved it!) However, this song just got stuck in my head, so much that as soon as I got back home, I downloaded it onto my phone, and it’s been there ever since. It’s a great song about being lost and not knowing what direction to turn. It’s about usually having the answers but this time, confused. It’s a love song, but to me, it’s the memory of my latest trip to the cinema with my big brother.

Now, all the views on these songs are purely my own. I mean you could hear the songs and feel something completely different to me. The lyrics could speak to you in a different way or the beat could make you feel bored. But to me, right now, these are probably my top ten. Each for their own reasons. Thank you for taking the time to read my post. Let me know what you think about mine or even giving me some of your favourite songs right now, by either commenting below, tweeting me, leaving me a message on my Facebook page or getting in touch by Instagram. I hope that where you are in the world, that you’re staying safe, in great health and focusing on looking to the future, when the world doesn’t look so miserable. And more than ever, keep smiling.

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Update on my goals!

I wanted to use this time to recap over my goals that I set my blog 4 months ago! Considering I went ghost for a fair few months, most of them are even further away from completion compared to where I thought I would be by this time. If you want to check it out, its >>>here<<<.

I set six goals that I wanted to complete by the end of the year, so I thought every four months, I’d look at how far I’ve come since the start of the year. Considering I went ages between blogging, most of these stats have come from the start of the year, but my goodness, it was probably the best start to my blogging year that I could have asked for.

I wanted to reach 50 people connected to my new Facebook page, however due to lack of advertising, it hasn’t even reached half that target, but hey, still got a while left of this year, you never know, maybe we could smash it.

I still haven’t managed to beat my record of 94 views in one day, but then again, I have gotten close and considering most of the time I am just writing waffle, I am truly humbled.

We are four months in and I have achieved 36% of last years views, which I can honestly say is quite an achievement, I am almost beating my first year of blogging and well over a quarter of the way to beating my yearly views. I am 35% of getting my 1000 visitors as well. To think that many people have logged on and checked out what I have to say, is truly amazing. I am so lucky to have so many people interested in what I have to say.

My last goal is the one that I know I will complete first! I wanted to achieve 100 people subscribed to my blog, and at the latest count, I am at 95! That means, I am 5 away from completely at least one of my goals!

The start of this year has been tough, I have had to make choices and yet I don’t feel like I am any closer to getting my head sorted but I know that one thing is true, I will be standing at the end of it. Thank you for taking the time to check out my latest post, and thank you to each and every person because you have contributed towards my achieving my blogging goals and I am honestly so thankful for each of you. You’re amazing! If you want to stay updated on what is going on with the blog, make sure to like the Facebook page, and follow me on Instagram. If you wish to see me write way more waffle than what gets posted, be sure to give me a follow on twitter. I want you all to stay healthy and safe during these uncertain times, and don’t lose your smile!