Luna was born on the 22nd of December which makes it the most expensive month for two reasons. The first being her birthday which I intend to do something special for her every year and Christmas. Because of how close her birthday is to Christmas, it makes it difficult and complicated to ensure people can find the time to come, which is why I start planning what I want to do about July time. However, as most people know, nothing ever goes to plan.
Her 2nd birthday turned out to be one of the hardest on me emotionally and mentally. When we moved into the new flat, money became extremely tight. There was problems with my housing benefit that took three months to sort out, during which time I had got myself into debt because I couldn’t afford to live and pay rent on the money I was getting and with Kieran moving out, it meant I lost out on even more money. I ended up getting a letter about rent arrears with two weeks to pay before they take me to court, so it got me into a bit of a pickle.
Anyone who is on benefits knows that you can apply for an advanced payment which I usually save for Christmas and her birthday, however I had to use that money to pay off the debts that were building whilst waiting for them to still sort out my housing benefit. It wasn’t until my December payment that it finally got sorted, and although I received my back payment, I used that to pay for Luna’s Christmas presents and pay off some of the debt that had been building. This meant that money became tighter.
I still managed to spend money I didn’t have on throwing an awesome party for my little lady and making her Christmas as special as I could. I wouldn’t change it, I don’t care that it made living for the rest of the month tight, because she got to have such an amazing time at her party and didn’t stop smiling. It sucked that many members of her family couldn’t be there, but it didn’t spoil her day.
There comes a point in being a mum that you must make tough decisions. I made the decision to buy all the presents and put both Kieran and my name on it. As far as she was concerned those presents came from both of her parents and I did this for a few reasons. One, Kieran will be giving me half the money spent on her, when he can go back to work. Two, I hate the idea of having parents compete over who brought the better gifts. That drives me up the wall. Thankfully me and Kieran are amicable enough for Luna’s sake to be mature adults about it. Thirdly, I didn’t want to risk us getting her the same presents as we both know what Luna likes and would have looked for things that she would have enjoyed.
I think being a mum means always thinking you could have done more. And I generally feel like this most of the time, but a lot of that stems from how much I really didn’t do to begin with. But Luna is turning into a beautiful little lady and I am beyond proud of her. She makes me want to do better and for every day that I am alive, I am going to make sure that I give her all my effort. She is the only child I have, and she deserves the world.
Surely, I’m not the only parent out there that wants to give their children the world if money wasn’t an object. Any parents out there do the same? Make sure that their children have everything even if it means going without for a while? Let me know and get in touch. You can find me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or even Email! I would love to hear from you! I hope wherever you, you are the parent your children deserve. And remember, keep smiling.