Long before I found out that I was pregnant, I wanted to be a person that my siblings and nieces could look up to. I know there are times where I have failed miserably and sometimes, I lose it way too quickly but one thing they can say is, that I stand up for my views and what I believe in. I may just be one person, but I believe that my voice matters. Everyone’s voice matters!
When I started this blog, I wanted a space to share my views and my beliefs without feeling like I was ramming them down people’s throats. I gave myself the space to write what I want and how I feel and if people wanted to read it, it would be down to them. I wanted to cover a range of topics, no matter how personal or controversial they would be. Now, I know, not everyone will agree with what I’m saying and loads of people with have their own opinions which is great. I want to provoke healthy discussion on issues.
A few weeks ago, me and my partner were walking to the shops just down the road, we were talking, and he realised that I was wearing all his clothes. It’s true. I had my bra and underwear on, but I also had his boxers over the top, his joggers, his top and jumper on. I have always found that men’s clothes are better comfort wise compared to women. It got me thinking, why is it socially acceptable for females to cross-dress and wear men’s clothes but not the other way around? Why is it that many people of the world have such a problem with men wearing women’s clothes but not vice versa? Why is it that the world we see today, the world in which our children are growing up in, so hypocritical? Why are there such views around what we wear? It’s not just men that receive this but women also.
Some men are taught from a young age that its not acceptable to wear women’s clothes, they are taught that it’s feminine and that it means that they are gay or have gay tendencies. This isn’t true. You can be completely straight and still wearing a dress. I have friends that have dressed up with their daughters because they asked them to. I have friends that let their sons wear fairy wings and put on a dress. They wanted their children to be comfortable and wouldn’t knock them for trying.
Some of them said there wasn’t a problem whilst they were playing, but they would find it awkward in other situations and that’s where their problem was, whilst others have said there wasn’t a problem with them, but they would avoid it as it was a problem for the outside world. Some people felt that by saying no, they would be putting issues onto the child and others felt that saying what they can or can’t do will only push them further into it.
Now for me, I want my daughter to be open and accepting. I want her to be who she wants without fear of discrimination and without fear of others. I want her to wear what she wants, be who she wants to be and love whoever she feels she has a connection with. I want her to be able to go out in what she wants with her head held high and pride in who she is. Had she been a boy, I would be the same. If I ever have a son, and he said to me that he wanted a pram, I’d go down the shops and buy him one for his birthday or Christmas, because he shouldn’t have to feel like it’s a girl’s toy. I know many men push their children in prams and that is all you are setting them up for. If he wanted to go out to the shops or to play in a princess dress and pretend, he’s a princess, then guess what, I will help get him dressed and I will sit him down. I will explain that although there is nothing wrong in how he wants to dress or what he wants to play with, the world has their own opinions and may think it’s wrong. I’d tell him that people would point and stare with possible comments because he was different, and they couldn’t accept that.
I think children need an imagination. They need to believe in magic and make believe because it helps them broaden their minds. It helps them become more creative and more unique. It helps develop writers and poets, acting and theatre stars, it helps them become musicians and activists. It helps create a brighter world. The world gets gloomier as you grow older, so let a child be a child. Let them live with no fear of the outside world, they will grow up and have enough of it. The world will have rules for them that will attempt to limit who they are and what they can do. So just let them live while they are young. Let them play with what they want to play and wear what they want to wear.
I do not have a problem with allowing children and people to be who they want to be. But the world we live in does. I have been alive 25 years, and its only recently that a gay couple, whether it be men or women, are finally allowed to marry each other. That’s horrendous. Why as a society do, we feel that we can dictate who we can or can’t love just because it’s not traditional? Why is it, as a society, we feel that its okay to victimise people because they are different? Why, as a society, do we think it’s okay to belittle people because they are different?
I know many people feel differently, and I get that. It is okay to think differently. We are all individuals and are all unique. Even identical twins have different fingerprints. Each person on this planet matters. If they want to dress different, why do we feel that we are worth more and can tell them differently? We are all made up on skin and bones. We all will live in this world and wear clothes. We will all have different views, and nobody can tell you that you are wrong. Just don’t be hypocritical. That is where my problem lies.
When I wrote this, I wanted to have some research behind me. I looked at celebrities that have cross-dressed and they are still respected. Celebrities like the entire band Queen, who did the I Want to Break Free video in drag. They are one of the greatest rock bands this world has ever seen and yet, that video caused so much controversy at the time, where as now is considered iconic. Weasley Snipes, Patrick Swayze, John Leguizamo who dressed up in drag for a role in a film and yet they are still great actors and it hasn’t changed who they are. The film in question is ‘To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar’, check it out on IMDB if you believe me. Another iconic film with drag, is Rocky Horror Picture Show. That film is incredible but also banned in some countries. They are all living and breathing. Wearing a dress didn’t change who they are. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114682/
I know for me, I will allow my daughter to be who she wants. I will hold her hand and show her off with pride. Because I want her to know that she is who she is, and we love her regardless. I just wish the world was a bit more accepting. I’d rather surround myself with people that express themselves freely than try to determine who they should be.